What is thing called love?

topic yang xda kenak mengenak ngn apa2 pun. just pas dgr lagu ya tek. ya la letak nya jadi title. ai. lelah eh jumpa org gtok. rasa mok berkurung lam umah jak. asal jumpa sedara mara xda soalan len jak tanyak. dont ask me if u knw i'm not ok. just dont. susah na hidup org sakit tok. ya allah. bilalah mok sehat. badan dah kedak rangka. mcm zombie pun ada juak ku tgk dah. hm. tok barunya dugaan. mood swing jak2. emotionally unstable dah tok. i just feel hurt. help me god. nasib ada game k ngubat hati yang lara tok. cis ayat. apa gk mok klaka ow.xda papa juak sebenarnya mok di tulis. mode mls. klah.ya jak kot. mok balit tok. babai.

I'm feeling down...

Finally i reach a moment where i am entirely feeling fucking down. I feel helpless n i dont 1 2 do anythng. I jst 1 2 stay in my fucking room. Sleeping all day long if i can. I miss my baby so much. But i'm scared to say i miss u. I'm afraid tht thngs turn ugly. I dunno wht to say. Suma mcm xbtl jk. Mmy monster mmg menakutkn i guess. Whts best for me is u. Whts best for u is i dunno. Today is saturday.  Hm. Cant wait for monday n pray hard tht everythng will b bck to normal. N monday id day 100. Ayat terhenti ctok jk. Xpt bfungsi otak. Bye.

Hello pulo...

Morning. Asal gaduh jak mimpi ngeri. Asal gaduh jak mimpi ngeri. Asal mimpi ngeri jak mesti gaduh. Sepnjg malam xpat tdo. Ai. I dont ask u to b perfect. I knw u'r not perfect. But i like u the way u r. If i wnt a perfect person. I wont ask u to b mine at the first place. Bcoz i knw u'r lack of everythng. I still want to b with u. I dont care wht weaknesses that u have. I dont care if we'r hv to fight every week or everyday. U wnt our relationship to b interesting rite. It is interesting. We have lots of up n down. N i'm doing fine with it kot? No seriously i'm perfectly fine.  I hurt u. U hurt me. I luv u. U luv me? All of ths if normal. Just let the bad feeling go n let the good feelings grow. Simple as 1 2 3. Dont thnk too much. Dont stress yourself. Dont ask me to find a barbie or anythng. If u cant picture me loving u so much its ok. Bcoz i cant either. To me yg important ialah i can c myself loving u unconditionally. U r so called mine after all. Ok. Gtg.

Don't cry in front of a girl...

As a human i do have heart. I do can cry. I do have feelings. I know u r not perfect. And so am i. Aku ialah org yg ssh mok nangis but when i cry, i cry. When i cry in front of other people, thats mean i can't handle the feeling anymore. Its beyond my control. When i seek for ur help n cry in front of u, thts mean u'r such an important person in my life. But there's 1 small thing i would ask 4, when i cry or sad, plz don't sow salt on wound. If u dont knw wht to say, just say u sorry for what happened or whtever. Dont laugh bcoz i'm crying. Or dont say sumthng tht can hurt my feeling. I am already in pain.  Thts y i call for help. Today incident wasnt suppose to b. im sorry for wht i've said. But im just human. I talk shit when i'm mad. I'm sorry for being too emotional n sensitive. Bcoz this is about human life n death. Lagikkan binatang mati lagik kta sedih. Kadang2 org boleh nangis bila binatang cdak mati. Apakan lagi tok baby, manusia yg terpaksa dibunuh. Walaupun nya blm dilahirkan. Nya udah bernyawa. And i am crazy if im not sad sbb tok tjadi bkn kat org xdikenali. P kat org yg mempunyai hubungn rapat dgn aku. Kta xperlu kenal org ya baruk mok sedih sal kematiannya. Kta kesian kta sedih kdng2 org smpe nangis tgk org mati. Even org ya xknl pun org mati or knk bunuh ya. Since i cant express my feeling to anyone anymore bcoz im afraid tht people would laugh when i cry or make fun of me when i'm sad. So i just can write here i guess. N hope tht everythngs will b ok after ths. So today i learn sumthng new which is dont give up n keep on trying. Dont lose hope. Dont lose faith. But believe tht everythng happen for a reason. To my unborn niece, i already love u since ur first heart beat. U r my niece after all. Of coz i love u. U dont hv to b born to b love by me. My dear cousin which like a sister to me, whatever happen, u knw im owez by ur side to support. I knw this been a very difficult moment for both of u, but this is allah will. Thins happened for a reason remember. Sabar byk2. Rezeki, ajal dan maut sumanya di tangan allah. Let us pray for another rezeki in future. Amin.

Ujian Allah

Tok ialah salah satu hari yg menyedihkn bt seluruh ahli keluarga. Yes we should cry. Sekuat ne pun kmk org, bla part tok kmk org mmg nangis. Tlh menerima berita yg sgt tdk baik sal baby lam kandungan cousin aku. Baby disahkan bermasalah oleh specialist and the parents di advice utk bt abortion. Aku rs serba salah. Xtauk mok ckp apa. Baby wont survive if dilahirkn. I am sad. Very sad indeed. Yes i knw ada himah di sebalik ujian tok. Time my kazen gugur we all sad. But now situasi berbeza. Sedih tok bt aku nangis mcm kes divorce. Baby ya akan di bunuh. Yarabi. Xsampe hati kali. Aku yg xmenanggung rasa ya lg sedih apatah lagik cdak duak. Ujian bturut2. Org yg xmok ank sng jak dpt. p org yg sunggug2 mok anak sengsara mok dpt. ya allah. Ujian apa yg ko berik tok. Apalah dosa bby ya smpe tpaksa "dibunuh". Tok baruk kata org d luah mati mak d telan mati bpk. Argh. Xtauk mok ckp apa. I just can say to the parents sabar tok adalah ujian dr allah n tiap yg blaku ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Human can't live without brain but we can talk without having 1.  Huhu.

Army of two

This song is dedicated to my girl with message i luv u so much and happy monthsary yg ke ??? haha. Bialah rahsia. Army of two by dum dums.



Look into these eyes of mine and take away my painFall into my arms, tonight, let the world around us fadeThe rain will fall, our hearts will breakBut still I will be here beside you, right beside you

When the world is against you, I will protect youDarling we'll be an army of twoWhen your life's going wrong, our love will be strongDarling we'll be an army of two

When the burdens of the world are on me, an people seem unkindI just need to be beside you, you give me peace of mindAnd when I fail to be everything, I tell you I will beI know in your eyes I'll find, forgiveness for me

The rain will fall, our hearts will breakBut still I will be here beside you, right beside you

When the world is against you, I will protect youDarling we'll be an army of twoWhen your life's going wrong, our love will be strongDarling we'll be an army of two

Oh forgiveness and you give me completeness in everything you doAnd I know when I'm lost in this desperate world, you're my refugeI want to fall down at your feet, whilst beside you in the streetBe proud that you are here with me, in front of everyone

When the world is against you, I will protect youDarling we'll be an army of twoWhen your life's going wrong, our love will be strongDarling we'll be an army of two

Somebody that I wish I never knew.

Hm. That somebody was really, I dont know how to describe. She's just somebody that I used to knw n how i wish tht i never knew her. Y? Bcoz knowing her n being with her for a few days was really one of the biggest mistake i've ever made. I am not perfect. I am also not a good person. I am once good to u. But dont take advantage of my kindness. Bcoz i can turn 360 degree from kind to bad, from like to hate and etc. I know it is inappropriate to say bad things about other people in the internet. But i just need some place to say whtever I want to say. Plus nobody knows who i'm talking about except for me n maybe my girl. I'm not sure bout that. So back to the story, I know a promise is a promise n we dont make promises that we cant keep. But plz dont push me. N plz lah k, dont ask for sumthng that u'r not worth it. At least tauklah malu sikit kan. I know u'r mad with me when i ask for tht thing. But u should knw that is also ur promise to me. So y cant i ask for it when u keep on asking me about our bet. it's the same thing. tht is how i felt when u push me. i am so damn angry. u said i'm over when i ask like that. but u r more than over when u ask for tht. u r so not worth it. n i will give when i thnk it is appropriate n fair to me. who r u to ask me for somethng that expensive. totally not worth it. the deal is tht thng. but it depends on me which brand n what kind of price range i wnt to give. bersyukurlah mun aku bagi sumthng lak but i wont give u tht specific thng u ask me for. bcoz i just wont. it is far too much for me. u not even my girl or sumthng. first time aku nang akn bg bnda gya, but makin hari aku tengok cara ko mintak ya buat aku sgt reluctant utk bagi apa2 pun. so sgt mistake bla ko mintak lebih dari sepatutnya. blm apa-apa dah mintak lebih. nasib baik xjadi apa-apa. mun x nang habis kali aku knk cukur. well i guess, girl like u memang have that kind of attitude. janji sendiri xmok ditepati. janji org len bkn men tuntut. tauk mrh bla org mntak. p nya mejal kta bkn men xfikir pun apa org rasa. mmg dasar tuttt.... so i will forget about ur promise to me n in return i will keep my promise but i give sumthng tht i thnk would b enuf to end ths mess. n aku rs ya adalah patut mencukupi. if xcukup juak nanglah pompuan eee. ok bye. xbagus kutuk2. p gne mok buat. aku nang perangei buruk juak.

Hari itu dalam sejarah...

Tok cta lmk as a reminder for myself in future. On april 15 2013, tht day was the frst time i undergo an operation n been admitted to columbia asia hospital miri. First time knk drip. So tiga frst time. Operation apa? Operation encik B. aku knk chronic anal fissure. I currently tgh bt follow up ngn my surgeon. So sementara tgu aku tulislah post tok. During operation ya dctr V trs buang polyp yg dah btapak d sia nth bpa lmk. Size pun dah bsr. 1cm plus. Hm. Nth bla nya jd should b sekitar 2012 bcoz time colonoscopy ya bnda ya xda. So wht should i do to avoid thngs occur blt. Control my diet. N yes aku nang control lalu smpe badan dah kdk rangka nktk. Smbg blt tulis. Baru hbs jmp dctr tek. Knk tkr ubat lg. hm. Skt yg tdk pandai hbs. Ok. Len kali ckp gk. kak pulai dolok. Bye.

i just dont know what to do.

argh. dah beberapa hari jadi mata anak pusak. tiap malam tido xsah xsakit mata. p malam tadi the best bila duak mata sakit serentak. sib baik bangun pagi x sakit just xpat buka sebab dipenuhi ngn taik mata. adei.apalah nasib sakit xpandei habis gtok. until nktk pandangan aku xjelas n suma benda nampak banyak. k spec lagi skt sbb terang. so jd s. jibeng knk bspec itam sia ctok. gelap jak dunia.p at least ritok mata xrasa guguk bila tunduk. hm. apa mok di buat tok ow. ada byk option. mok gi pengilan tahlil or kuar mkn ngn hana or kuar mkn ngn kin or dok umah tdo? kuar dating xda sbb gf di rpr aku d new york so ssh mok jmpa. jauh gilak. mok kuar p xbgs pulak aku kuar single. lak timbul fitnah. kan xmanis gya. xmok appear single lok. takut knk ngorat.hahahahha. perasan. mak ai. setia gila tok. adakah ini dinamakan cinta? hm. sgt bertanggungjawab dah aku. i am getting old n sexy. kuikuikui. knk mrh gf gk ritok. xsah nya period xmrh. hahahaha. p slh aku juak. xpalah. biarnya cool down lok. eh. xbgs ckp kelaie ngn gf lam tok. kan xmanis mun org baca. p dah tulis gnelah. mok padam x? mok padam x? xda rubber xpatlah padam. sori mi. huhu. bgs cta len, cta apa ow? cta politik xblh. cta sex xblh. cta pmpn xblh. cta cinta xblh. hbs cta apalah yg blh? ai. ssh nya hdp. mok d senangkan pun payah. cta nombor? JUDI ADALAH HARAM DI CC AGAMA ISLAM! hhahahahha. ari apa tok. xda nombor. huhu. tik tok tik tok. msh x decide gk mok bt apa pastok.bgs bt pahala. g tahlil jkla. mudahan org rajin g tahlil aku juak lak sbb aku rajin g tahlil keluarga cdak. eh? x blh mengharap balasan. xbaik tol perangei gya. kta ikhlas tok pegi. klah. mupok dolok. mok balit mndi. bye bye blog. i leave u alone. hahahaha

ps: i luv u mi. if u read this, plz jgn mrh d lmk2 k. i miss u. n tambah rndu udah nktk. makin rndu nya lak. huhu.

Symptoms...

Shit. Nyumpah jak kja. Skt rs nyawa pas ddk lam keta yg xda oxygen. Until nktk semput. Bodo kja gya. Apa dpt. dpt skt jak. So back to the story. Hdp semakin rumit kesihatan makin mencarut. Bjalan langgar sia ctok. Menulis 22 jd 24. P 24 ttp 24. Mengira 1 jd 2. 2 jadi nth lmk mok fkr. Jalan lurus dah xlurus. G langgar curb tepi jeraya. Tgn patah jak x leka langgar mcm2 dah. Weird bn juak. Suma pandangan macam ke kiri. Otak ngn tangan pulak asyik bercanggah. Otak kata lain. Tangan tulis lain.  Mcm ne ya? Google lok petanda apa ya?  Jgnla bnda merepek. Cukup2lah dugaan yg siberi tuhan tok. Lak aku knk tgl gf lak sbb mala skt. Huhu. Dahla bdn dah mcm rngka. Huhu. Xtauk mok bebel apa lagi. Aku rndu "sebahagian" drpd nya ya. Xleh rndu nya. Blm 24 jam kak jmpa. Huhu. Dahla mulut masin. Ptt mntanya doa aku mati jak. Br ngam. Xnya ssh gk hdp ngn org gila mcm tok. K dah2. Jgn d bw gilak perasaan utk bsadu ngn blog ya. Esk hari yg pnjg. Knk bgn awl. So gud luck 4 2moro. It wont get any better. Nite world thts full of shit. I may not wake up 2moro. So forgive me blog. If i ever hurt ur feeling. Bcoz im just a normal person tht owez make mistake.

Combo pack!

Y do i owez get combo pack? Shit man. Y must it be on weekend. Cant i hv any enjoyable weekend with my wife?! Damn u life. Sumthng going on with. I dunno wht. But i just hit a damn curb n pray hard that my car xda scratch n tyre x pecah. Shit bena. Sial mati mampus. Dah la ya. Xcukup lagi. Encik b gk bt hal. Bleeding mcm apa pulang nya mlm tok. Apahal kah? Ptt skt semcm jak. Hm. Sudah jth dtimpa tangga. Terpijak tahi ayam pula. Nang malang. P alhmdulillah duak2 fon slmt tnpa rosak or hlng d curi org. Wht was i thinking. Throwing my fon n leave it just like tht at parking lot. Stupid. Y am i owez stupid. Y must i b the 1 tht ruin everythng. I luv u for god sake. Ya bnda yg xptt jd. Argh!!! Omoz get myself kill. Nang mntk mati juak aku tok. Bgs esk k keta aku jak pegi. Dpt aku drv sepuas hati n selaju yg blh. Mun blh trbang, biar trbng terus keta ya. Tgk tuhan mok makbulkan x doa aku utk mati ya. Hdp pun tidak bguna. Ssh jadi smpah masyarakat mcm aku tok. Bt nyemak dunia jak. Bgs nyemak tanah kubo jak. Mode skrg ialah gila mok bunuh diri tiap masa. Mudahan aku mati eksiden esk. Amin.

The pain in my tuttt...

Apahal tek title post mcm ya. Xsenonoh lalu jak. Well whtever. Skati aku lah mok letak apa. Yg penting hati suka. Deh. Since operation until today, i think today ialah yg plng trk skt. Cb recall lok apa mknn marek? Hm. Oat, buah, salad n roti jak rs aku. So apa mslhnya. Ok jak ya. Cek air gk? Kurng air kosong n ada minum jus oren n air chocolate chip starbuck. So kemungkinan besar d sebabkan air. I guess i need to rearrange my diet. Ssh lah mcm tok. Makan takut. Berak pun takut. Badan dah tinggal rangka. Huhu. K dah. Mls mok tulis. Mok men game jak. Bye

Sesi membebel bersama encik blog.

Argh! Boring. Pahal boring gilak tok. Miss my baby so much. Dah jmpa pun msh rndu. Pelik tapi bena. I miss u mi. Miss u all the time. Hm. Aritok dah menambah investment gold. Walaupun bpk bising mls mok peduli. Oleh kerana tgh kering xpt mok bli byk. P xpa. Ckit2 lm2 jd bukit. Long term investment. Dr guna duit bli bnda2 xbfaedah. Bait utk melabur k masa dpn. This year byk membazir. Sbb byk glk vacation. So ssh mok buang duit k bli wish list. Huhu. Byk nya wish list aku. Kaco eh vacation. Mok ipad mini. Mok s4. Mok ps vita. Bli2 lak k kumpul debu lam bilit mcm psp ngn ipad 2.  Rugi jak. Blh x jgn membazir wahai manusia. Bljr berjimat cermat. Bli bnda perlu jak. Bkn bli utk sekadar ada. Hm. Ssh eh nafsu. Wish list len blh juak d capai dgn mudah. P tiga tok bt aku bfikir lok. One by one but i will get u. Soon. Insyallah. Kali knk bt duak kja br mampu mok membeli belah gya. Hahaha. Aii. Cnta hati mok tdo dah. Aku pun mok tdo juak dah. So slamat malam blog.

"Kalau bukan kita, siapa lagi? Kalau bukan sekarang, bila lagi?" Tetiba teringat bnda tok. K nite.

"Enough"

Enough is enough. But wht do we mean by enough? Wht is enough exactly? Wht is consider as enough? Not good enough? More thn enough? Wht is tht shit actually? How do i knw its enough? How do i know its not enough? In relationship, i dunno if love is enough anymore. Even if we love each other we still need time to knw each other. I'm confused. Does love matter anymore? I tot i luv u n u luv me is quite enough already. Or is it not. "I love u, u love me, we r quite happy already with a great big hug n a kiss from me to rpr. Wont u say u love me 2?" Lagu barney. Deh. Terpesong udah. I knw we had so many bad days while we're together. But does it mean tht if we'r fght here n there it's over??? Come on mi. It's time to grow up already. The both of us make mistake. The both of us should try to grow up. Some days we loved each other. But other days we had to work for it. I'm sorry that our honeymoon period sucks. But tht is wht we have to deal with. Face it. N get through it. I dont 1 2 stop loving u. I wnt to love u each n evryday of my life. Tq n i never have enough of u.

Ya allah, bawa aku pergi...

In this life, at some point u just want to give up. Give up on living n facing each more day. And at this point i really am giving up on everythng. Y cant it b simple. Kata2 ya satu doa. Y must u say tht. Mok glkkah anak ko sendiri skt gya. Ingat suma tok permintaan akukah? Of coz aku mala skt. Ko xtgkkah betapa bsr ketumbuhan ya? Ur job is to pray to god tht i will b fine. Bkn g pdh aku xleh d harap utk bkja sbb mala skt. Ingt aku sukakah skt gtok. Last month accident ya aku mintakkah? Accident happen. This month operation. For wht? Utk jd sihat. Next month ko mok aku skt lg? Ingat aku robot sihat 24 jam? Bnda ya xjd lg knk mok fkr? Maybe next month aku skt tenat. Xpun mati kali. Habis cta. Damn myself. Hidup x bguna. Tauk sakit ajak. Tauk ditimpa kecelakaan ajak. P jgn kerana tahap kesihatan aku xmemuaskan ko sekat ya suma. Ya xkn mengubah apa2. Urusan dunia xkn habis. Untuk sementara ajak. Ya allah eh. U think 2 much. I hate u n i will b like u n worst thn u sumday. I hate this fact! Fuck my life!!! I hate myself!

This post is dedicated for the love of my life.

They say that a person that trully loves u wont let u go no matter what the situation is. Thts mean tht i luv u but i dnt love u enuf n being stupid all the time. I dnt 1 to let u go. Im just merajuk xtentu pasal hope u'll come back but we both knw tht wont happen. Hm. I 1 2 clarify with u tht both of us is immatured. In fact i am more immatured thn u. Sebab ya i act this way. N u were so ego n thnk 2 much menambah keruh keadaan kta. Dont u miss me syg? Xsygkah apa yg kta prnh ada? I luv u n u annoyed me almost all the time but i want to spend every irritating minute with u. Just u. Bcoz u filled my life with laughter, fun n so much excitement. I luv u 4 wht u r n 4 wht i am whn im with u. I luv u 4 all tht u hv been n 4 wht u'll yet 2 b. its not about wht u do tht make me fall 4 u. But its about u urself. U'r everythng tht i think about. U'r everythng tht i 1. U r my everythng n i'm owez scared bcoz u mean so much 2 me thn any other person in my life. I get jealous bcoz i luv u so much. I act stupid bcoz tht is how i am whn i trully luv sum1. U r every reason, every hope n every dream i've ever had. U'r my dream comes true. N everyday im with u is the greatest day of my life. I really love u. Even u'r moody omoz all the time, even u'r hard to handle i still 1 u in my life. I wnt to share my everythng with u. I 1 u 2 knw me n my feeling. It doesn't matter wht a mess i can b but wht matter is i luv u n i only c u n have u. I knw its tough being together. But can we try to hold on? Im getting used 2 it. Im doing fine. N so were u. Plz forget all the reason y US wont work n believe the only reason y it will. Its not about me or u anymore. Its abous US. Remember? Even if we have a thousand reason to give up, try to at least find 1 reason 2 hold on. Relationship is complicated. We fight we cry we annoyed each other but we dont 1 2 keep tht in our moments together. What we will is the moments tht make we laugh, the fun tht we had together, n the great moments tht we will share in the future. I cant promise u tht i'll b your prince charming, nor i cnt promise u a perfect relationship. But wht i can promise u is my unconditional love n if u'r trying, i'm staying. I knw we've tried. We've tried so hard n its never been enuf. But i 1 u 2 knw tht wht we've tried n wht we have is more thn enuf. Its just us being a normal person n thinking tht we'r not enuf 4 each other. Sedangkan kta perfect 4 each other. Just tht we cnt c it. I lied 2 u whn i said i had enuf. I dont n i never will had enuf with u. I dont 1 to find the 1 4 me. Or the right person 4 me. Bcoz all i 1 is u n relationship is not about findng the rght person, its about creating a right relationship! N if loving u is wrong. Thn i definitely DONT 1 2 b right. I hope u can forgive me for my stupid mistake. I dont 1 to ruin this. We still have chance. I need u n i am so terribly sorry. I cant stop loving u. N i luv u more everytime i open my eyes. N tok dah brapa ratus kali kelip mata. So i guess i love u byk2 more thn 10000x dah today. I miss u so much. N i hope u miss me 2. Im yours n forever will. So for time being, i just sit down here n pray to god tht u will b mine forever n wait for ur call. Lastly, i luv u mi. Always.

Girls...

Girls is so confusing. They waiting n searching for the rite guy to come. Mr. Nice guy is in top wish list. But when they get 1, they will say they dont deserve the guy. Seriously? Dont deserve? Is that not what u'r looking for? Hello? Hm. Girls dont knw wht they really want. They like to think 2 much. So how bout bad boys? Yes they like bad boys. But still they dont want 1. Bco they know they will get hurt in the end. So which 1 do u really want girls? Ordinary guy? Also not good enough for u. I tell u what. Why dont u just learn to accept the guy n enjoy your moment with him. Besides u should cherish n dont let go when u get the suitable 1. Dont overthink. Or else u will regret it for the rest of your life. Cherish n have fun. Love like there is no tomorrow. Appreciate wht u have n wht u still have. Dont wait until its too late. Bcoz we dont knw when it will go. The end is near. But we should make it far by moving slow. Walk fast n u'll miss everythng n reach the end without u realize it. There's no turning back. Just regret. So my advice is walk slow n enjoy your moment. So tht when u reach the end u wont look back in anger. I knw there's no happily ever after. But this is life. N relationship? There's owez ups n downs. But remember the good 1. Forget the bad things n learn from mistake. That will make u happy n look forward for next day. Thats wht u will keep in ur memory. To make u smile. To make u happy. When i think i wnt to give up on my girl, i will try to remember the reason y i'm with her at the first place. Y i like her. What make me fall for her. Then, its like i have new hope n make me love her even more. Make me want her more. Make me a better person. N a better lover. I think its enough for tonight. So long oredi. I need to sleep. Nite blog.

I miss u so much L.

Huh! Apalah nasib. Beberapa bulan tok asyik di timpak mcm2 masalah n kecelakaan jak. Malang bena. Apakah ujian mok ditunjuk tuhan tok. Hm. Haritok hari yg membosankan. Terlepas appointment ngn surgeon. Flu. Mata tajam. Knk tgl gf. Nang pack combo. Apalah badi yg ngikut aku tok. Smpe malang xhabis2. Pas satu satu gik dtg. Xhabis gk cgek dah dtg masalah baru. Xpalah. Aku pasrah dan redha dgn suma yg terjadi. Aku dah penat. Biarlah takdir yg menentukan segalanya. Now tgh bw keta cuci untuk di sewakan esok hari. Sementara menunggu q yg pnjng aku dgr wechat cinta aku blt. Argh. Rndu nya. Rndu glk2. Knklah ego sentiasa menang. I miss u so much mi. I've done my part. Ya allah, bukalah hatinya utk menerima aku dan segala kekurangan aku. Cuma nya yg aku mok. Cuma nya yg aku inginkan. Cant stop thinking of her. How can i not love her. She's mine. I just 1 to spend my life with her. Spending every second of my life by her side. Damn i luv her so much. No other guy can luv her the way i luv her. I dont wanna lose u. I cnt u lose. Shit me. Shit myself.

Geng pompuan murahan!

Eh? Ya bena title post. Well nasiblah. Dah mmg kenyataan ya ialah geng pompuan murahan. Ya gya. Dala muka xtauk malu. Ai. Bt skt ati jak tgk muka cdak. Benci tahap gaban. Now i know which 1 is musuh lam selimut n talam dua muka n mcm2 lg. muka innocent ya lah plng teruk. Org yg kta rs bgs yala xbgs. Once u enter group pompuan murahan aku secara automatik nya akan hlng hormat ngn ko n akn treat ko mcm taik. Bcoz u deserve to b treated like tht. Biarlah aku kejam or apa2. Apa aku peduli. Aku yg byr ko. Bkn ko byr aku. Dont trust anyone terutama yg nmpk innocent. Sbb ya adalah plng jahanam. Dont b 2 close dgn lepeh. Sbb lepeh plg xtauk malu n penuh perasaan dengki. Hm. Xpat ngerepak lmk2. Bla cta sal tok trs rs mok berak. Maklumlah cdak ya tlalu hina d mata aku. K bye

I miss u like crazy.

I dont knw wht i did wrong until i get this kind of punishment. At least let me knw y suddenly u'r so cold with me. I cnt sleep like this. How can i rest. Packing pun belom lagi. I dont feel like going. I'm dying. This is a terrible month for me.  Kenaklah gtok gilak kehidupan. I miss u so much syg. I miss u i miss u n i miss u. Xtauk mok type apa. Otak dah berhenti berfungsi. Bye blog. Cukuplah untuk kali ini.

Have i not love u enough for today?

Its been 2 days oredi. Berkampung di atas sofa. Cant do anythng? Cant go anywhere. I miss my baby so much. Even the relationship seems quite unstable for these past few days. I still love u. No matter what remember. N i love u more every day. But y r u so cold with me? Moody for most of the time. Did i do sumthng wrong? Have i not love u enough for today bby? Have i not love u more than yesterday bby? I miss u so damn much. Do u even knw tht? Isit just my feeling or it is really sumthing else? Tell me bby. At least let me knw whts wrong with u? With us? Hm. I guess thts all for today. Huhu. Bye blog.

Lucky i'm still alive.

Today, 19.03.2013 around 6++ pm, aku terlibat lam kemalangan jalan raya. Wah! Ayat! Haha. Accident time aku men basikal. Accident yg agak teruk sib bait aku xcedera teruk sebab aku bernasib bait x dilanggar kreta belakang n kreta jalan sblh. Apahal bla kta berhati2 p tetap juak accident sbb org bodoh len xhati. Sib bait palak xda apa2. Dahla x k helmet. Mun x kan naya. So first thing first. Dont panic bla tauk mok knk langgar. But prepare utk mengurangkan keterukan accident ya. First time masuk emergency. Bahagian lain cuma cedera ringan p kat area lutut jak kembang teruk smpe xpat jln. Huhu. Xpatla bsukan bt seketika. Panjng MC. P alhamdulillah selamat. Ya nang rami org ngerumun. Mmg org malaysia. Xpat tgk accident ckit. The funny thing ialah bla org gila yg lnggr aku ialah my ex bos n nya xperasan nya langgar aku until nya tgk side mirror ada org ngn basikal tbaring kat tgh jalan. Adoi2. Mentang2 k dmax. Langgar n seret basikal pun smpe x sedarkah? Huhu. Encik boss, len kali kuar simpang tgk kiri kanan.jangan men rudu jak. Dala drv laju nk mati. Sib bak aku cedera ringan jak. Mun trk tek kan pnjang cta kta. Ai. Skt nya bdn.sib bait dah inject pain killer. Xla rs skt glk mcm td. Bahaya eh cycling. Mcm nait moto juak bahaya nya. Apa2pun. Aku xmok bergesel ngn tayar n badan dmax lg. Skt nk mati. K cau. Mok rest in peace for few days. Bubye blog.

Cinta harus memiliki...

I would like to dedicate this song to sum1 special. Wish u all the best in everything that u do. N i want u to know that i will always be here for u. Cinta harus memiliki by Anuar Zain.

I am so F up...

F word all the way. Stop crying. Shit myself. Curse me. Huhu. Hate myself. So damn frust. Y oh y? Y is this happening. Not good. Not fair. Not at all. Y libra y? Is this wht u wnt? R u happy now? Arghh!!!! Wht is ths feeling. Yes i feel terrible. I am so down. Down bcoz i'm stupid. Down bcoz of everythng.can sum1 plz, plz hit me in the face. Shoot me so tht i cnt feel anything. This feeling is so fucking bad.  Huhuhu. Dunno wht 2 say. I just 1 to run away. :'(

Where do u go???

Just got time to update my blog. Been really bz since last friday. Spending my weekend with my family from shah alam n brunei. Had fun n eat lots. So back to the title. Where do u go libra? Where the hell r u? Y cnt i sense your presence. Y is it when i nearby your office your vehicle just not there. Hm. I'm started to worry. But nevermind. I am happy for today. Recieved good news from my cousin. Hahahaha. Soon. 8 more month to go. Hm. Cant wait. This saturday will go to bintulu for a night. Then monday off to brunei. Yes. Out from miri for a while. No need to c u. Damn. Y is this happening. Not happy at all. Argh! Shoot shoot shoot. Well gtg. It's late already. Bye.

Still cant forgive myself.

Now i cannot sleep. Photos empty. The engagement, kids day, rayyan, cousins, family, house, fish, frst pic, us, n lots of thing r gone. Cant retrieve it bcoz never back up since buy it. The frst time cnnct to itunes, it should be set as new iphone. But y on earth did i click restore back up. Shit myself. This is the second time in my life this stupid thing happen to me. All my contacts r gone. Now i cnt contact some person bcoz i dont have their number. N most of them is a very important person for my work. Shit man. This is not happening.plz tell me its only a dream. A nightmare or sumthng. I cant face the truth. I am so terribly sad. The engagement cant b repeat. Oh shit. Now i feel guilty to my cousin. How can i face her. The only pic we have n now it is gone. Bravo me. Huhuhu. :'( just this morning i had a look with my photos. Lots of it. N now? I'm being 2 emotional with this thing. I Dont cry when ths happen for the first time. But now i cant stop crying. Like a baby. Dear god. Please help me. Show me the way to orget this. Its stuck in head. Will effect me for few days. :( hm. 

This is so F word!

Y is this happening. I'm really crying. This cant b more worst. I hate myself. How can i do such stupid big mistake. Y oh y? This is so unforgivable. Shit shit shit! All of it is gone. GONE! G.O.N.E gone! I'm so fucked up. What can i do. Wuaaa. No back up. No anything. No warning. Stupid itunes. I hate u! U make me suffer. I just lost my everything! everything important. her pics! OMG. Help me.

What is this feeling?

Haha. Nobody to talk to, so i end up talking with myself in this blog. Bcoz i cant keep it to myself forever. I need place to express my feeling. So what is this feeling. This problem keep on happening over n over again. When i luv sum1, i will have ths stupid fucking cycle. The feeling start to grow n then it start to fade n i bcome scared of that person. Its like seeing a ghost u know. At night i will have nightmare about them. I cant even look at their face in normal way. They look different. Sometimes it make me shiver. Not in a good way. I miss u but i'm scared. I wnt to find u but i cant. N luckily u dont find me 2. U dont text me and ths make things easier n worst at the same time. Its torturing. Shit man. Y is this happening? U'r not even my gf. We dont declare. N still it happen. Do u know how much i miss u. Of coz u dont. U dont even have time to think about me. But y did i have this feeling on u. Not other people. Its hard to act normal during ths situation. Hard to smile. Hard everything. This is one side feeling but it end up like we're both in luv. This weird thing always happen when i declare. Never happen other thn that. This is the first it happen to one side feeling. I see u as a different person now. N u just let it happen bcoz u dont care. Hahaha. I wnt to at least smile at u or treat u like bfore, but i just cant. U look like a ghost to me. I'm scared of u. I dont like u. N i hate this feeling. From 100% luv it become -30% luv. What is that. Y is that? I dunno i dont care anymore. It wont change anything so just let it be. Follow the flow. Haha. Oklah. I really need some sleep. Ths bz thingy is really helpful during my forgetting sum1 process. So once again, gud nite to myself. Hope no nightmare for tonight. Adios. 

Expectation!

In this fucking world, everybody have their own expectation. It doesn't matter about what. It is good to expect, but y cant they have faith with their own children. Your expectation is very high n yet u dont believe that your child can reach your expectation. I do everything tht u ask me to. But still it is not enough. Yes i am not perfect. I'm still learning. In this world, so far there is only two person tht understand my feeling. Bcoz they face the same thing as i do. When we talk, its like a never ending story. We become like this bcoz of our parents. But compare to the three of us, there is pros n cons here n there. The worst part is when everything had been plan for u. At work, i must learn about everything, learn this n that. How to handle things, how to handle staff. They 1 u to know everythng so that in future they can count on u n let u run the business without feeling worried. It is not an easy task to run a business n managing people. Trust me, u dont 1 to knw the feeling. Hm. Previously i cant run from my responsibility. I am the nominee. 1 day that business will belong to me. That is y i must learn everything n they expose me to lots of thing. They show me how its like so that i have interest to take over the business. But now, i have an option which obviously i take this opportunity to run. But it still depend on the outcome. If fail, thn i will stuck here for he rest of my life. N i pray hard tht everythng will b according to plan. Latest plan. So i had try my luck n now we just wait for the result. I like working with my parents but at the same time i hate working with them. But look at the bright side. I can help them so they can relax n enjoy their retirement, dapat pahala like they always say. Dosa pun dpt juak pd ms yg sm. That is wht they dunno. Huhu.  I am grateful even i dont look like it. I want to help n to follow everything u had plan. But i'm just... I dunno. Need space i guess. Hm. I think i should stop here. Nite n bye.

Just doing my job...

Well i guess every organization have their own goal n target. Every organization also have their own KPI. So today is the first month for new salary. And i just reviewed my staff knowledge which emphasize on some ethics that they must follow.  Before i give their salary i asked them a question n what they knw about that thing. So overall was hm? How should i say. I'm not satisfied. But i'm ok with the effort. Not so happy but grateful at the same time bcoz they are trying their best to answer me. But they must know that i really hate when they answer me "i dont know". How can u say u dunno when u must know. It's not acceptable when u say u dunno. At least try to answer before u say u dunno. They should also know that i'm doing this not bcoz i want 2. But i have 2. In order to achieve our target we must try our best n cooperate with each other. Bcoz we work as a team. I'm doing it bcoz i want to increase my work performance n your performance. I want to improve my managing style n i wnt to improve your working style n environment. This is for your own good n for the sake of our workplace. If i do nothing, if we as the management team dont guide u to do your work properly, will u do it right? Our job is to train n educate u guys so that u will b a better person n worker. If i dont check your knowledge about our ethics, services and products, will i know how far is your knowledge about it? No right. I wont know anything about your performance. I dont knw whether or not u'r doing the right thing. U wont knw your performance n u wont improve if i dont tell u this. Whts the point if we dunno anything. Nothing to achieve, nothing to improve, nothing everything. No point at all. So that is the purpose for today review, to check n to confirm your knowledge n understanding, to help u to gain more knowledge about it, to improve your performance to advice u about what u should do n should not and to learn together with u about the work ethics. Besides that i wnt u to implement it not just know it. Dont just memorize, but understand it. I dont do this to make u down. But i do this to help u. So that all of us can together provide the best n achieve our goal. The goal n mission is to be the best out of the best. In order to achieve that we must help each other n motivate each other. My style n rule is simple. My rule is to follow the rules n procedure. If u cant follow it is not bcoz u cant. But u dont wnt. If u have that kind of attitude, no matter where u go u just dont worth it. Any place u work will result with disappointment.. So change your attitude and your mind. Open your mind n be positive. Look at the bright side. Bcoz this is an opportunity to learn. An experience for your future. I think thats all for tonite. I am tired n sleepy. So i am going to sleep now. Gud nite world.

Tunggang langgang.

Ya bena bz bulan tok. Sampe hidup pun xtentu dah. Makan xbetul. Rosak diet. Harap pat bertahan pe 4 feb. ari2 penat. Pengsan jak x. Lmk dah xbsukan. Lamak juak dah msg nya. Lmk kah? Hm. Lmk bagi aku. Apa mok d krepak tok. Currently buka vacancy utk cashier cum kerani. Sorg pmpn. Mudahan dpt cepat. So that dpt ato normal balit syif. Ngantuk eh. Ritok awal da jak g kja. Now otw g brunch ngn bpk. Sekian saja report sendiri utk hr ni. Lak ada kesempAtan aku report lg. caw.

Y did i fall in luv?

I keep asking myself the same question over n over again. Y did i? Should i fall for her? She dont even wnt to be with me. Dear god, y did u open my heart to sum1 that cant b mine. Almost everyday looking at u and feels like i wnt u to b in my arms forever. But its just a dream. That will never come true. Texting u every single day to brighten up my day. To knw about u so that i knw everythng about u. Damn i miss u so much. U just took my heart away n throw it like it has no value. But still i luv u. Luv u every breathe of my heart. U always on mind. U always awe me. N i wnt u to b the 1. U make me forget about the others just like that. I luv u bcoz of u. U yourself n who u r. N i want to b with u. Only with u.

Busy day busy me.

Ai. Bz bz bz. Hujung bulan yang memenatkan. So many things to do. So damn tired. Epay dah settle. Rokok lagi tinggal. Esok public holiday. Pagi gi jalan bintang. Then gi Belait lagik. huhu. Malasnya. Dahla kereta koto xda time mok cuci. Malu da jak driving koto gya. Hm. Ubah topic lok. Pahallah orang susah gilak mok percaya yang aku tok single? Tengok upa pun tauk bah aku single. Kenakla org sentiasa berfikiran yang aku tok banyak gerek. Haha. Muka baik apa. Ubah topic gik. Dah tengok moto nya baruk lega rasa hati. Ingat dah xda sia lagi. Fon number pun dah xpat di contact. Risau eh. Down rasa bila nya pun moto xda sia. Klah. Thats all for tonight. Xda cita juak sebenarnya. Bz keja jak. Bye.

Happy 2 years!

Happy 2 years old baby city. Time sure is moving fast. I cant believed that u already 2 years old. It seems like yesterday. Omg. I still waiting for my road tax. Hopefully it will be ready by this week. And pray for no road block. Or else i will get fine. Could not wash city for today. I am so bz n tired. Hope i can wash u tomorrow. Thnk u for 2 wonderful years together. U still the best. The performance still like u were new. That is y i luv honda product. Quality is the best. So once again city, happy birthday.

Where is my dup dup???

Today, is a very challenging day. In fact it is the most stressful day to us. Yes it is stress n tiring when your future n finance is depending on that thing. We still have a lot. But we must prepare for the worse. Because it will get worse. By patterns n prediction, it is not a good sign. Enough with that story. I try to avoid it for a moment. So move on to the next story. I think today is very unfortunate day for me. I lost a bet tonight. Huhu. Besides that, i am happy a little bit after seeing her. But ashamed at the same time bcoz she heard me crying during our fon call. Well yes i do can cry. Bcoz the burden is really killing me. My family, my work n my everything. All i wnt is to hear her voice so that i can stay calm. But before i can control my feeling my tears just start running without even thinking about my pride. Funny doh. How can i cry just like that. Luckily i'm ok when i meet her. This is the first time i meet her more than 1 hour just the 2 of us. Eventhough the meeting is quite funny bcoz there's a divider between us. She's inside her house gate n i'm outside. But we manage to talk for quite a while. N i luv it bcoz it's just talk. But i start wondering something, on my way to see her, i dont feel my heart beat racing. I just felt cold. Where did my dup dup go? When i'm standing in front of her, the dup dup still not with me. Until i go back, i feel calm n nothing. No dup dup, nothing. Just simple me talking with her. No eye contact, no staring, no more cold and definitely no dup dup. Normal i think. Does this mean something? Indeed it does. But let just keep it in my mind. Bcoz i want to sleep. It's late n tomorrow i have to wake up early. So gud nite world. N thanx blog for listening.

New lappy

Lappy 1 day old. Acer ultra thin with 8gb RAM. just perfect for i dunno what. Come with window7 n 8. Touch screen. Truly cool. Silver colour. Very smart. I guess this year all my new gadget wont be black. Iphone 5 white. This one is silver. I  dunno y i cant have black. Always no stock. No luck i guess. Dad bought for me this lappy just so that we can use it with hdmi cable and plug it with our smart tv. Funny. But it is good for future use. Ipad 2 dah berdebu. No use at all. Excited for a few weeks. And thn become decoration inside my room. Rugi doh. Hm. This month spend like there is no tomorrow. Over spend already. Should stop shopping i guess. Lamak lagi mok tunggu 28 Jan. Btw, u look stunning just now. hahaha.

Cuti cuti sendiri.

Sakitnya sakit. Hari tok demam dah ok. Flu ckit gik n batuk pun xda glk. Badan still sakit. Kali oleh men badminton n banyak gilak baring. Yala memaksa gilak badan ya. Kan dah susah sendiri. Patut hari tok dah boleh g keja. P boss suruh dok umah jak. Boring. Xda buat apa. Perlu perfi berurut secepat mungkin. Hm. Eh. Telinga aku tetiba hilang pendengaran sebelah. Apakah. Pelik. Boh duli. Sakitnya rindu. Yea. Berjaya x msg n cari nya tok 2 hari. Walaupun pahit namun mesti di telan. I am done chasing u. Even i really miss u. I just dont 1 to hurt myself n my feeling anymore. I gv up. Yeah. Just like tht. Gv up. My new policy is dont look for anyone unless they look for u. Easy enough. Hm. Tatatatatata.

What a day?

Damn sakit gila. Since morning dah sakit. Dari sakit mata sampe ke batuk den demam den sakit jiwa raga sakit hati sakit segala-gala. Argh!! Shoot bena. Shoot gilak-gilak. Pleaselah, janganlah jatuh sakit dolok. Tunggu suma ok lok. Tolonglah. Aku belum boleh sakit gik. Nasiblah mata dapat buka tadi. Walaupun di paksa. Terima kasih kat gum mata yang banyak membantu. Mudahan esok ok so dapat men badminton dengan baik. Hehe. Ingat ritok mok tenangkan fikiran ngn men basikal. P gagal nampaknya. Sunyi gilak fon ritok. Sunyi macam hati aku juak. Sakitnya jatuh hati. what did I do to deserve this kind of punishment? Sakitnya rasa bila xtauk salah apa. So many assumption inside my head. Y did u go. Y did u leave me here n make me wonder y n what the hell did I do wrong? Do u love me? Or do u hate me? At least tell me y. This is so not fair. I hate this feeling.  People, they dont understand me. N they will never ever understand me. I am complicated n confusing. But i am such an easy person to handle. I get mad easily. After that i'll b ok. I cant b mad at u for so long. I luv u. And of course i am a very jealous guy. I dun 1 to get mad. I dun 1 to show u my true feeling. I dont mean to hurt u. I dun 1 to hurt u. But i just cant control my feeling. I am so very terribly jealous when u talk about other guy. But what can i do. I always screw up. Hm. I guess it is my fault. Even i dunno what it is. I cant stop thinking about u. But i will try my very best to forget u. To forget us. It wont happen i guess. Us is not a good combination. I should just stay alone. Forever alone. Bcoz i'm such an arrogant, irresponsible, wild, selfish, playboy and no feeling little bastard. I clearly dun deserve u. And dun worry, I just deleted your number from my fon. So i wont be able to msg or call u again. I hope u'll b hepi. I wont disturb u. I just stay here quietly. Damn myself. damn my heart. Feel like crying my heart out. But the tears is very stubborn. So that's all for now. Bye.

Books

Tahun tok di mulakan dengan membaca buku. Baru habis baca clockwork prince few days back. Then start reading fifty shades of grey trilogy. Baru start ngn first book. Nang wowlah. No wonder nya sangat famous. Hahahaha. Leh kenja bila baca sal ya. P interesting. Aku mok jadi macam christian grey ya. Hehe. Ai. Datang gatal pulak. Mata bersinar-sinar bila gatal. No wonder ari tok sangat gatal. Terpengaruh ngn buku ya udah. Habis baca lak comment gine ending nya. So far book ya ok. Sangat ok. Interesting and addicted ok. Klah. Thats all for tonight.

Panda poem

Life, it is moving around,

Sometimes up, sometimes down.

Love, make my whole world goes round,

Even it's up nor it's down.

You, the reason I'm hanging around,

And I, will love you till the end of dawn.

                               - Arieq ralphfiq 2013-

Apa punya poemlah macam ya. merepek da jak. nang sesuai k panda pun poem. Huhu

Home sweet home

Yea. finally, genap seminggu. akhirnya mama dah release dr hospital. malam tok tdo umah dah. lega rasa. belakang sangat sakit.bisa gilak. p oleh kerana banyak benda mok diuruskan terpaksalah menggagahkan diri untuk kesana sini walaupun badan dah btl btl xlarat. I miss home so much. Miss my bed n my sofa. n yang paling penting miss my ikan so much. pastok dapat la tido lena. lamak dah xcukup tido n xcukup rehat. dapat bersukan balit. yea. hehehe. happy lak tetiba. :)

New fon

Well, aku baru beli fon baru petang tek. Iphone5 is now in hand. Get it for rm999. 16gbwith white colour. I want black. But finish stock. So i guess white should still be ok for me doh. Hehe. Screen colour kacak. Pic pun kacak. Screen pnjg dr iphone4. Iphone 4 xtauk mok bt apa. Mok d jual. P mcm syg jak. Mok d masuk jd collection syg juak. Sbb simkad xsm size. Xpat jd spare fon. Nektok bw 3 fon. Hehe. Ada org da mok bli ifon 4 tok. P tgkla gne. Nektok masih kat hospital. Lmk my mom knk admit. Eh. Melalut lak cta new fon tok. Kla. Bye. Xtauk mok ckp apa. Org gila dr td msg.

Fuck u syarikat harimau!!!

I am so fucking angry that i'm about to kill some people right now. Not a very good morning. Very bad day. Very bad mood. Xpat lepas marah kat apa2. terpaksa mengamuk lam blog macam org gila. Fuck u syarikat harimau. Ko buat aku meradang dan sakit belakang. Untuk memulakan cerita marah aku, as usual aku gi bank in collection kat syarikat harimau. So bila aku datang aku tengok ada sorang q rah pintu no. 7. den sorang gik kat dalam. Since bapak suruh aku ambik number takut tunggu lamak. aku pun pegilah ambik number. So tunggu punya tunggu, masuklah org yg q depan aku ya. den aku pun terus sabar menunggu. Den number aku sampe dolok, so i went to the counter 1. p malangnya pompuan rah counter ya padah nya xboleh timak duit aku. aku mesti jua q rah pintu no. 7 sebab ada 18 org mok bank in rah counter. Nya say sorry n paksa aku tunggu rah pintu 7. So aku tetap sabar and pergi balit q kat pintu 7. And malangnya time aku g counter ya ada sorang laki dah q lagi kat pintu 7. So aku kenak tunggu blakangnya pulak. Ok ya xpa. sebab salah aku lari dari q. Punyalah lamak mek duak q. Den baruk org laki ya kuar den masuklah laki yg q depan aku tek. Aku ingat nya kejap jak. so xkisahlah. P boleh tahan juak lamaknya. Still aku masih tunggu ngn penuh kesabaran walaupun kaki rasa mok patah n belakang rasa mok tercaut sebab dah berdiri sejam lebih rasa aku.aku just dpt duduk kejap jak sbb takut kenak potong q oleh mamat digi b4 ya. So time aku tunggu ya, tetiba datang duak org mamat kat counter 1. Xtauk apa cita, tetiba cdak di suruh gi masuk kat pintu 7 juak. N yang paling best bila laki lam ya tek kuar cdak masuk dolok dari aku. sbb officer syarikat harimau bodoh yg maybe in charge kat atas ya suruh cdak  masuk dolok tanpa peduli aku yg dah q sia sejam lebih. N mamat ya blh plak padah aku manager suruh nya masuk dolok. N yg konon manager ya tek suruhnya masuk n xcakap sorry or apa2 kat aku dan buat aku macam org bodo kat luar ya tunggu lagi. walaupun org dalam dah tunggah aku suruh masuk pun xpat juak. So aku apa lagi masih sopan santun sebagai rakyat malaysia mula datang antu p tetap control utk menjaga reputasi keluarga. Cuma mampu menyumpah lam hp n bersadu ngn kawan yg keja di syarikat sama sambil buat muka pembunuh tunggu depan pintu ya. Post tok bukan untuk apa-apa. P sekadar pengajaran kepada syarikat berkenaan yg ktk org xpatut buat customer macam ya lebih2 lagi customer tetap ktk org. aku pun banyak keja n ada keja lain mok dibuat selain dari menunggu mcm org bodoh dpn pintu 7. plus today is friday so bapak aku knk gi solat jumaat. aku xkisah tunggu lamak if betul2 q ya pnjng. p aku sgt marah bila aku tunggu sejam setgh n org lain nyaman2 potong q atas bantuan org dlm. respectlah org yg q. bukan ktk org jak bgaut. akibat kejadian tok telah menyebabkan aku ngn bapak aku xpat bt kja lain n terpaksa menangguh keja ke masa lain. Now knk balit hospital jaga mak aku. And i am super tired oleh benda remeh macam tok yg sgt menyusahkan org sbb kepentingan org-org bodoh. Selfish gila babi. Xda manner n xhormat org. aku x kisah gilak sal mamat ptng q. p aku sgt kisah sbb org syarikat yg srh nya potong q. Org yg sgt tidak bertamadun. Sgt tidak bertimbang rs. Dan sgt biadap. sekian terima kasih. luahan hati yg sgt pnjg. bye.

2013

Hello 2013. Well, not a very gud start for a year. My mom kenak admit kat columbia asia hospital since 1st jan 13. N i am so damn tired. But i'll try my best to be fit during ths critical moment. I must stay healthy so i can take good care of her. 1st time in life sleeping at hospital. Cant sleep at all. Going to work without taking bath. My whole body is really painful. I thnk i can even sleep while walking. But i dun care. As long as i'm wth mom i'll b ok. So many visitor since yesterday. Wish she was wth me during ths time. But wht can i do. Still aku bersyukur sbb dpt tgk nya td. Walaupun sekejap. Even just for 1 second, i am very thnkful. Just looking at u and watch u smile can make me forget about my pain n tiredness. I guess thats all for today. Gtg.