Symptoms...

Shit. Nyumpah jak kja. Skt rs nyawa pas ddk lam keta yg xda oxygen. Until nktk semput. Bodo kja gya. Apa dpt. dpt skt jak. So back to the story. Hdp semakin rumit kesihatan makin mencarut. Bjalan langgar sia ctok. Menulis 22 jd 24. P 24 ttp 24. Mengira 1 jd 2. 2 jadi nth lmk mok fkr. Jalan lurus dah xlurus. G langgar curb tepi jeraya. Tgn patah jak x leka langgar mcm2 dah. Weird bn juak. Suma pandangan macam ke kiri. Otak ngn tangan pulak asyik bercanggah. Otak kata lain. Tangan tulis lain.  Mcm ne ya? Google lok petanda apa ya?  Jgnla bnda merepek. Cukup2lah dugaan yg siberi tuhan tok. Lak aku knk tgl gf lak sbb mala skt. Huhu. Dahla bdn dah mcm rngka. Huhu. Xtauk mok bebel apa lagi. Aku rndu "sebahagian" drpd nya ya. Xleh rndu nya. Blm 24 jam kak jmpa. Huhu. Dahla mulut masin. Ptt mntanya doa aku mati jak. Br ngam. Xnya ssh gk hdp ngn org gila mcm tok. K dah2. Jgn d bw gilak perasaan utk bsadu ngn blog ya. Esk hari yg pnjg. Knk bgn awl. So gud luck 4 2moro. It wont get any better. Nite world thts full of shit. I may not wake up 2moro. So forgive me blog. If i ever hurt ur feeling. Bcoz im just a normal person tht owez make mistake.

Combo pack!

Y do i owez get combo pack? Shit man. Y must it be on weekend. Cant i hv any enjoyable weekend with my wife?! Damn u life. Sumthng going on with. I dunno wht. But i just hit a damn curb n pray hard that my car xda scratch n tyre x pecah. Shit bena. Sial mati mampus. Dah la ya. Xcukup lagi. Encik b gk bt hal. Bleeding mcm apa pulang nya mlm tok. Apahal kah? Ptt skt semcm jak. Hm. Sudah jth dtimpa tangga. Terpijak tahi ayam pula. Nang malang. P alhmdulillah duak2 fon slmt tnpa rosak or hlng d curi org. Wht was i thinking. Throwing my fon n leave it just like tht at parking lot. Stupid. Y am i owez stupid. Y must i b the 1 tht ruin everythng. I luv u for god sake. Ya bnda yg xptt jd. Argh!!! Omoz get myself kill. Nang mntk mati juak aku tok. Bgs esk k keta aku jak pegi. Dpt aku drv sepuas hati n selaju yg blh. Mun blh trbang, biar trbng terus keta ya. Tgk tuhan mok makbulkan x doa aku utk mati ya. Hdp pun tidak bguna. Ssh jadi smpah masyarakat mcm aku tok. Bt nyemak dunia jak. Bgs nyemak tanah kubo jak. Mode skrg ialah gila mok bunuh diri tiap masa. Mudahan aku mati eksiden esk. Amin.

The pain in my tuttt...

Apahal tek title post mcm ya. Xsenonoh lalu jak. Well whtever. Skati aku lah mok letak apa. Yg penting hati suka. Deh. Since operation until today, i think today ialah yg plng trk skt. Cb recall lok apa mknn marek? Hm. Oat, buah, salad n roti jak rs aku. So apa mslhnya. Ok jak ya. Cek air gk? Kurng air kosong n ada minum jus oren n air chocolate chip starbuck. So kemungkinan besar d sebabkan air. I guess i need to rearrange my diet. Ssh lah mcm tok. Makan takut. Berak pun takut. Badan dah tinggal rangka. Huhu. K dah. Mls mok tulis. Mok men game jak. Bye

Sesi membebel bersama encik blog.

Argh! Boring. Pahal boring gilak tok. Miss my baby so much. Dah jmpa pun msh rndu. Pelik tapi bena. I miss u mi. Miss u all the time. Hm. Aritok dah menambah investment gold. Walaupun bpk bising mls mok peduli. Oleh kerana tgh kering xpt mok bli byk. P xpa. Ckit2 lm2 jd bukit. Long term investment. Dr guna duit bli bnda2 xbfaedah. Bait utk melabur k masa dpn. This year byk membazir. Sbb byk glk vacation. So ssh mok buang duit k bli wish list. Huhu. Byk nya wish list aku. Kaco eh vacation. Mok ipad mini. Mok s4. Mok ps vita. Bli2 lak k kumpul debu lam bilit mcm psp ngn ipad 2.  Rugi jak. Blh x jgn membazir wahai manusia. Bljr berjimat cermat. Bli bnda perlu jak. Bkn bli utk sekadar ada. Hm. Ssh eh nafsu. Wish list len blh juak d capai dgn mudah. P tiga tok bt aku bfikir lok. One by one but i will get u. Soon. Insyallah. Kali knk bt duak kja br mampu mok membeli belah gya. Hahaha. Aii. Cnta hati mok tdo dah. Aku pun mok tdo juak dah. So slamat malam blog.

"Kalau bukan kita, siapa lagi? Kalau bukan sekarang, bila lagi?" Tetiba teringat bnda tok. K nite.

"Enough"

Enough is enough. But wht do we mean by enough? Wht is enough exactly? Wht is consider as enough? Not good enough? More thn enough? Wht is tht shit actually? How do i knw its enough? How do i know its not enough? In relationship, i dunno if love is enough anymore. Even if we love each other we still need time to knw each other. I'm confused. Does love matter anymore? I tot i luv u n u luv me is quite enough already. Or is it not. "I love u, u love me, we r quite happy already with a great big hug n a kiss from me to rpr. Wont u say u love me 2?" Lagu barney. Deh. Terpesong udah. I knw we had so many bad days while we're together. But does it mean tht if we'r fght here n there it's over??? Come on mi. It's time to grow up already. The both of us make mistake. The both of us should try to grow up. Some days we loved each other. But other days we had to work for it. I'm sorry that our honeymoon period sucks. But tht is wht we have to deal with. Face it. N get through it. I dont 1 2 stop loving u. I wnt to love u each n evryday of my life. Tq n i never have enough of u.

Ya allah, bawa aku pergi...

In this life, at some point u just want to give up. Give up on living n facing each more day. And at this point i really am giving up on everythng. Y cant it b simple. Kata2 ya satu doa. Y must u say tht. Mok glkkah anak ko sendiri skt gya. Ingat suma tok permintaan akukah? Of coz aku mala skt. Ko xtgkkah betapa bsr ketumbuhan ya? Ur job is to pray to god tht i will b fine. Bkn g pdh aku xleh d harap utk bkja sbb mala skt. Ingt aku sukakah skt gtok. Last month accident ya aku mintakkah? Accident happen. This month operation. For wht? Utk jd sihat. Next month ko mok aku skt lg? Ingat aku robot sihat 24 jam? Bnda ya xjd lg knk mok fkr? Maybe next month aku skt tenat. Xpun mati kali. Habis cta. Damn myself. Hidup x bguna. Tauk sakit ajak. Tauk ditimpa kecelakaan ajak. P jgn kerana tahap kesihatan aku xmemuaskan ko sekat ya suma. Ya xkn mengubah apa2. Urusan dunia xkn habis. Untuk sementara ajak. Ya allah eh. U think 2 much. I hate u n i will b like u n worst thn u sumday. I hate this fact! Fuck my life!!! I hate myself!

This post is dedicated for the love of my life.

They say that a person that trully loves u wont let u go no matter what the situation is. Thts mean tht i luv u but i dnt love u enuf n being stupid all the time. I dnt 1 to let u go. Im just merajuk xtentu pasal hope u'll come back but we both knw tht wont happen. Hm. I 1 2 clarify with u tht both of us is immatured. In fact i am more immatured thn u. Sebab ya i act this way. N u were so ego n thnk 2 much menambah keruh keadaan kta. Dont u miss me syg? Xsygkah apa yg kta prnh ada? I luv u n u annoyed me almost all the time but i want to spend every irritating minute with u. Just u. Bcoz u filled my life with laughter, fun n so much excitement. I luv u 4 wht u r n 4 wht i am whn im with u. I luv u 4 all tht u hv been n 4 wht u'll yet 2 b. its not about wht u do tht make me fall 4 u. But its about u urself. U'r everythng tht i think about. U'r everythng tht i 1. U r my everythng n i'm owez scared bcoz u mean so much 2 me thn any other person in my life. I get jealous bcoz i luv u so much. I act stupid bcoz tht is how i am whn i trully luv sum1. U r every reason, every hope n every dream i've ever had. U'r my dream comes true. N everyday im with u is the greatest day of my life. I really love u. Even u'r moody omoz all the time, even u'r hard to handle i still 1 u in my life. I wnt to share my everythng with u. I 1 u 2 knw me n my feeling. It doesn't matter wht a mess i can b but wht matter is i luv u n i only c u n have u. I knw its tough being together. But can we try to hold on? Im getting used 2 it. Im doing fine. N so were u. Plz forget all the reason y US wont work n believe the only reason y it will. Its not about me or u anymore. Its abous US. Remember? Even if we have a thousand reason to give up, try to at least find 1 reason 2 hold on. Relationship is complicated. We fight we cry we annoyed each other but we dont 1 2 keep tht in our moments together. What we will is the moments tht make we laugh, the fun tht we had together, n the great moments tht we will share in the future. I cant promise u tht i'll b your prince charming, nor i cnt promise u a perfect relationship. But wht i can promise u is my unconditional love n if u'r trying, i'm staying. I knw we've tried. We've tried so hard n its never been enuf. But i 1 u 2 knw tht wht we've tried n wht we have is more thn enuf. Its just us being a normal person n thinking tht we'r not enuf 4 each other. Sedangkan kta perfect 4 each other. Just tht we cnt c it. I lied 2 u whn i said i had enuf. I dont n i never will had enuf with u. I dont 1 to find the 1 4 me. Or the right person 4 me. Bcoz all i 1 is u n relationship is not about findng the rght person, its about creating a right relationship! N if loving u is wrong. Thn i definitely DONT 1 2 b right. I hope u can forgive me for my stupid mistake. I dont 1 to ruin this. We still have chance. I need u n i am so terribly sorry. I cant stop loving u. N i luv u more everytime i open my eyes. N tok dah brapa ratus kali kelip mata. So i guess i love u byk2 more thn 10000x dah today. I miss u so much. N i hope u miss me 2. Im yours n forever will. So for time being, i just sit down here n pray to god tht u will b mine forever n wait for ur call. Lastly, i luv u mi. Always.

Girls...

Girls is so confusing. They waiting n searching for the rite guy to come. Mr. Nice guy is in top wish list. But when they get 1, they will say they dont deserve the guy. Seriously? Dont deserve? Is that not what u'r looking for? Hello? Hm. Girls dont knw wht they really want. They like to think 2 much. So how bout bad boys? Yes they like bad boys. But still they dont want 1. Bco they know they will get hurt in the end. So which 1 do u really want girls? Ordinary guy? Also not good enough for u. I tell u what. Why dont u just learn to accept the guy n enjoy your moment with him. Besides u should cherish n dont let go when u get the suitable 1. Dont overthink. Or else u will regret it for the rest of your life. Cherish n have fun. Love like there is no tomorrow. Appreciate wht u have n wht u still have. Dont wait until its too late. Bcoz we dont knw when it will go. The end is near. But we should make it far by moving slow. Walk fast n u'll miss everythng n reach the end without u realize it. There's no turning back. Just regret. So my advice is walk slow n enjoy your moment. So tht when u reach the end u wont look back in anger. I knw there's no happily ever after. But this is life. N relationship? There's owez ups n downs. But remember the good 1. Forget the bad things n learn from mistake. That will make u happy n look forward for next day. Thats wht u will keep in ur memory. To make u smile. To make u happy. When i think i wnt to give up on my girl, i will try to remember the reason y i'm with her at the first place. Y i like her. What make me fall for her. Then, its like i have new hope n make me love her even more. Make me want her more. Make me a better person. N a better lover. I think its enough for tonight. So long oredi. I need to sleep. Nite blog.

I miss u so much L.

Huh! Apalah nasib. Beberapa bulan tok asyik di timpak mcm2 masalah n kecelakaan jak. Malang bena. Apakah ujian mok ditunjuk tuhan tok. Hm. Haritok hari yg membosankan. Terlepas appointment ngn surgeon. Flu. Mata tajam. Knk tgl gf. Nang pack combo. Apalah badi yg ngikut aku tok. Smpe malang xhabis2. Pas satu satu gik dtg. Xhabis gk cgek dah dtg masalah baru. Xpalah. Aku pasrah dan redha dgn suma yg terjadi. Aku dah penat. Biarlah takdir yg menentukan segalanya. Now tgh bw keta cuci untuk di sewakan esok hari. Sementara menunggu q yg pnjng aku dgr wechat cinta aku blt. Argh. Rndu nya. Rndu glk2. Knklah ego sentiasa menang. I miss u so much mi. I've done my part. Ya allah, bukalah hatinya utk menerima aku dan segala kekurangan aku. Cuma nya yg aku mok. Cuma nya yg aku inginkan. Cant stop thinking of her. How can i not love her. She's mine. I just 1 to spend my life with her. Spending every second of my life by her side. Damn i luv her so much. No other guy can luv her the way i luv her. I dont wanna lose u. I cnt u lose. Shit me. Shit myself.

Geng pompuan murahan!

Eh? Ya bena title post. Well nasiblah. Dah mmg kenyataan ya ialah geng pompuan murahan. Ya gya. Dala muka xtauk malu. Ai. Bt skt ati jak tgk muka cdak. Benci tahap gaban. Now i know which 1 is musuh lam selimut n talam dua muka n mcm2 lg. muka innocent ya lah plng teruk. Org yg kta rs bgs yala xbgs. Once u enter group pompuan murahan aku secara automatik nya akan hlng hormat ngn ko n akn treat ko mcm taik. Bcoz u deserve to b treated like tht. Biarlah aku kejam or apa2. Apa aku peduli. Aku yg byr ko. Bkn ko byr aku. Dont trust anyone terutama yg nmpk innocent. Sbb ya adalah plng jahanam. Dont b 2 close dgn lepeh. Sbb lepeh plg xtauk malu n penuh perasaan dengki. Hm. Xpat ngerepak lmk2. Bla cta sal tok trs rs mok berak. Maklumlah cdak ya tlalu hina d mata aku. K bye