me me me n me

I think I just fall for someone. But I'm not sure about my feeling. I think about u. But I dun miss u. I want u. But I dun need u. It seems like u dun even like me. Yes, u hate me. Bcoz I treat u like that. I'm not that kind of person. Its just that when I like sum1 I tend 2 treat them like shit. Ai. Stupid me. Susahnya memendam perasaan. Huhu. Biarlah. Esok lusa lupalah ya. Hm. Meow~

1 2 3 a b c

Bz nya this few days sampe xda masa mok update blog. hari-hari keja makan n pengilan jak. mun dah sehari pengilan 3 kali. xgila apa ya. makan suma sedap. leh mati mun mcm tok. sib bait hari tok hari last. huh. lega asa perut. lelah nya badan. xlarat gik mok buat apa. mok gi beli selipar jak tok. sempat juak selipar ilang sebelah. ya bena misteri hilang selipar ya. sebelah ajak hilang. sampe di cari lam parit n dibah kusi pun xda. pelik bena eh. huhu. cne mok cari org k gerek tok. xpernah seumo hidup aku rasa sunyi sehinggalah malam tok. i need sum1 that can understand me so that i can have a serious relationship. hatiku hancur mengenang dikau. blablabla. merepek dah jadinya. gne tok. blalah mok dapat kerja luar miri tok. i need 2 go. i must go. this is so not fair. ne leh ko cerai bini n balit ctok n dapat umah aku. buat mcm ya leh dpt suma ko mokkah? gila apa. org tua ya pun satu. cakap pasal team. as a family. tapi yg penting pendapat nya sorang jak. buat sumthng x discuss ngn org. memangla aku stress mun dah suma hutang atas palak aku. untuk apa? untuk kesenangan org lain. aku sendiri xdpt apa2. susah juak dengan org bodoh sombong tok.susah na jadi tua. da xda fun. hilang fun dah aku. shoot bena juak. F my life.

A very sad day

Sik sampe 20 hari gik nek udak meninggal, ari tok nek usu nong lagi yang pergi kembali ke rahmatullah. hm. Nampaknya tok bukan tahun yang bagus. al-fatihah dan yasin diwakafkan kepada beliau. semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang beriman. bersyukur kerana marek sempat melawat nya di hospital. pupus dah orang tua keluarga mek orang tok. huhu.tok ajakla laporan dari aku.sekian. hargailah yg masih di depan mata sementara waktu masih ada.

All i want for Christmas is u...

I dun have a heart to luv u. in fact i dun have a heart for anyone except si Libra ya. damn myself. y on earth i still in luv with that person. y oh y. yes its easy to say than done. but wht can i do. move on? i am moving on. just without feeling. is it a crime if i dun feel anything? no rite? so i am doing fine. loving sum1 is not my job anymore. i'm so done with that. but i will open my heart to anyone that can tawan my hati. n i hope my future 1 will b the 1. i dun 1 the perfect 1. i just 1 the rite 1. apa d merepek aku tok? hehe. ntahla. gnelah mok increase market aku tok mun asyik duduk d stesen tok. ai. susah susah. yea. men golf ritok. xsabar tunggu. terbanglah masalah ku, seperti terbang nya bola golf. jauh dari pandangan. walaupun masalah ya xakan hilang. sekurang2ny di jauhkan dari pemikiran yang memang da sempit tok. pahal blog aku asyik cakap sal hati dan perasaan tok? xpat buat benda cali gikka. mentang2lah aku da hilang charming. blog pun dah xberseri-seri lagi. apala kaba si libra. lamak xnmpknya. da kawen dah kali. huhu. mudahan sentiasa bahagia lam hidupnya. ai. sudah cukup sudah. jgnla dikenang lagi benda yang tlh pergi.huhuhuu.wuuuuuu. gila dah aku.

My vacation

Selepas mereread balit post aku yang lamak-lamak ya, aku terjumpa cgek post yang menarik perhatian. selain dari post merepek n merepak n merapu ya, post tok aku mok updatekan baru. title post ya ialah the places i must see b4 2012. so it's 2012 already. and it's november. and i am a total failure. y? bcoz i dun manage to complete my vision n mission. instead of that 9 island, i only manage to visit 1 island. Langkawi. shit man. i need 2 increase my timeframe coz i must go to all that 9 places. so 1 down and 8 to go. this year aku da pokai coz dah habis duit k duak vacation di tempat xsepatutnya. UK n Japan is really killing my pocket money. currency nya dasyat. so from now on aku mesti jadi wiseman. pegi tempat murah n currency kecik jak. xpun cuti malaysia.  so next year pun preplan vacation yg dah book ticket ialah filipin ngn langkawi lagi? bpa kali mok gi langkawi. aiyo. perlu gi pulau redang secepat mungkin. so standby. kikikikiki. bye.

Activities

Ai. Sakitnya badan pas main badminton malam tadik. Pada masa yang sama berasa lega sebab dapat start balit activity pas balit dari bercuti ya. p perut makin buncit.xda tanda-tanda mengempis pun. huhu. kali makan sik control. ya jadi camya. kinek tok aku bergiat active dalam golf, cycling ngn badminton. badminton just main seminggu sekali. golf ngn basikal aku buat lat hari. yea. ke arah hidup sihat n ke arah membusy diri supaya otak xfokus ngan benda lain kecuali sukan. i am in luv. i'm in luv with sum1 name SPORT! hahaha. pagi tadi sempat karok. walaupun suara xmerdu. p tetap juak menyumbang lagu. tangkap feel bah. hehe. golf dah. badminton udah. basikal jak belum sbb belum pam tayar. huhu. perlu beli pam basikal baru tok. pa gik mok cakap ngn diri sendiri tok ow? nthla labu. dahla. lak da fikir aku tulis gik. bubye myself n i.

It's killing me

Yes it is hard to be a blacksheep in the family. but what can I do. I'm just a little guy trying to do my best. I'm still learning n trying my best to figure my life. I don chose to be like this. it is written by god. this is god choice. I dont care about others. but y cant u just take me as i am. i am not here to please u. in fact i'm not here to please any of u. since last year, i cant feel luv. i dun feel miserable. i dun feel angry. i dun feel sad. i dun feel happy. i feel nothing. i feel hurt. y cant u let me be me. let me happy. let me spend my life the way that i want it to be. this is not about u. this is not about us. this is about me. how can i be happy. when everything i do is to make all of u happy. since 1 year ago i loss my feeling. i loss everything. this is so that everyone around me can feel happy. but how about me. i cant love anyone. how's that. i need luv. i 1 to be love. i 1 2 luv. but wht the hell is happening. i'm starting 2 lose myself. this it not me. absolutely not me. i'm tired to please other. i'm tired of pretending. and above all i'm tired of being sum1 else. i 1 2 b me. why is it so damn hard 2 be yourself. f*ck my life, my family n my everything. there is no day that i dun feel 2 kill myself. maybe i should just hang myself or jump from parkson. fuck me. i am really fucking tired. curse curse curse!!! F word all the way. waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is crazy. i need 2 fix it ASAP. fix myself. fix my life. fix everything. shit betullah. shit everything.

1 year

Haha. Exactly 1 year ago aku buat post teraher d ctok. Now i'm back. Saje suka2. Mok juak isi blog ritok. Update after a year ditinggalkan. Apa mok ckp ow? Congrates obama sbb re elected utk secnd term. Jam masih awal. P aku da ngntuk gila. Pagi td first time tengok cta boboiboy. Ok juakla katun ya. Patutpun biak suka. Tadi baru pas tengok oggy. Terbahak2 aku tetak sorang diri. Katun ya nang bagusla k release stress. Aritok sempat gi brunei mek duak mama. Nang gi sia ctok jak kja aku tok. Oklah. Lak cta agik.mun ada masa terluang. Mok gi o'ok lok.cau.