2012 review

We're having a bbq right now. My cousin wnt to introduce his future husband to the family. At the same time we're celebrating new year eve. Find some time to update my blog. The last 1 before 2013.  So what's the review for 2012. Start from health. It's getting better i guess. But still need to control my food. N must exercise constantly. Been healthy for few weeks already. Had colonoscopy for the frst time. Hehe. Luckily the result was ok. So moving on to my social network. Fb already deactivated. Been more anti social. Dun like to mix with other people. Judgemental towards everyone. Start updating my blog after 1 year. Financial, i think this is not a very good year. But 2 increment during ths year. 2 bonus. Raya and end year bonus. Vacation? 2 major vacation. 1 is england. 1 is japan. Luv it so much. Love? Not a very good year for love. Had 4 official one for 2012. 5 unofficial. Total is nine. Damn. Almost ten. No wonder my cousin said it was ten. I think the number still not accurate. Bcoz i dun remember all of them. Wow. This is very bad. I need a stable n serious relationship. Huh! Most of them is so much younger thn me. Omg yo. Dun like kids but end up with kids. I think ths is enough for my review already. Huhu. Praying tht next year will b far more better thn ths year. Owh. I had a road bike n canon d600 for ths year gift. Hahaha. And a gucci wallet plus salvatore ferragamo bag. What else? Hm. My cousin married. I'm a bridesmaid. My car accident during my vacation at england. My house finally completed. Name villa di pulo. Half of it is inside pond. No pets except fish. Gold fish, koi, haruan, keli, sepat n tilapia to be exact. Had so many inside conflict. Family conflict n whatever conflict. Meet my long lost fren and my besfren n my old schoolmate. So many frens getting married ths year. And have a baby. Play so many sport. Start cycling n playing golf as my new hobby n my new focus point. Ok. I thnk thats all. Enough already. Bye.

Wish upon a ???

How i wish i could see u. How i wish i could feel you. Wish that u were right here with me. Wish i can hold u in my arms n never let u go. Wish that u could b mine. Wish u could accept me the way i am. Wish that u miss me. Wish u could love me like the way i love u. Wish u could give me chance to love u. Wish that u will open your heart for me. Wish that 2moro will b a better day. Wish u will find me n text me. At least reply my text. Wish u dun make me look stupid. Wish i could talk to u. Wish tht i am not a stranger to u. Wish i can spend my time with u n loving u. Wish this is not one side feeling. Wish u dun hate me. Wish tht u care about me. And above all, i wish tht i have more time to be with u.

Lazy day

Boring boring boring boring. Xtauk mok buat apa. Hate myself. Ingat xmok gi kja ritok. P terpaksa juak turun. Huh! Lately tiap kali datang tempat kerja mesti rasa down. Rasa benci lalu mok datang. Ntahlah kenak. P nang mun dapat xmok datanglah kalo boleh. Mok duduk umah jak golek-golek. Dahla malam tadi sakit mata. blur lalu jak pandangan ritok. Just realize that my curse still with me. Y oh y? Y cant i love a person more than 10 days. Y must 10 days. 10 days is all u got. Y cant just u release me. This is really tiring u know. U not with me. But y cant u just let me happy. Suddenly out of the blue u came and ask me the most stupid question of all time. Start calling me and ask the same question. Y is that?Just let me go. Pleaselah. Asking me y i'm disappear n not messaging u is not a proper question to ask when u'r the 1 that missing for so long. What do u think i am. U can come n go whenever u want is it? I thought, no, let me recall back that we're so done for the past i dunno. Almost a year maybe? Or more than a year. U come n go. I dun give shit about that. I dun care if u still want me or not. All i know is i want u to let me go. Bilalah benda tok mok berakhir? Bukan ko peduli aku pun. Lenlah kalo ko nang ari2 msg aku layan aku or apa2 yg seangkatan dgnnya. Tok ko kejap ada kejap xda. P ko expect aku sentiasa ada ngn ko bla ko dtg walaupun ko tauk aku ngn org lain. What is that? I dun understand. Bila aku lari ko halang aku cara halus. Bila aku stay ko buat aku mcm taik. Apa reti gya. Tiap kali aku jatuh hati ngn org lain. Tiap kali yalah ko dtg. Aduh aduh. 10 Hari jak ko bagi aku utk sk org? Biar bn? Lakla sambung gik. gtg.

Emo di malam hari

Huh! Ne tuju mood aku pergi. Leh jatuh sakit mun trs mcm tok. I'm tired. I thought love is a game for two. But y i feel like arghh. Dunno how to describe my feeling. What should i do. Help me god. This is really tiring. Sampe mok tulis blog pun xmampu dah rasa. Apakan lagi mok msg. Eh. Terbalit statement. Pening dah. No idea. Bye. Nite. Harap esok lbh bgs dr hr tok.

Happy mode

Mode happy aku start since last nite. Well for the first time ever i receive a half month salary bonus. And that wont happen annually. So i'm very happy. Even it's not much. Still it is better thn nothing. Besides that, i'm going to one of my wish list place. KOREA! cant wait til june. Aku dah menjalankan operasi menabung bermula haritok. So many place to go next year. Hehehe. Hope ada duit untuk joy di sana sini. Xtauk apa gik mok cakap sebab otak kosong. Ya jak kot k eksen ctok. Bye. Mok g bli brg k bbq monday tok lak.

20 hari mencari cinta

Hm. How do i start. Well, I am so close to love u. No! I already luv u. It feels like i cant do anything to make u love me. But i wont give up for now. Bcoz i will try my very best to persuade u so that u can give me 1 small chance to prove to u that i'm worth your time and worth your heart. I know i'm not good enough. I'm not perfect. And i know i cant give u everything in this world. I cant promise u anything. I cant promise that i can make u happy every single day. But there's 1 thing i can promise u. As long as u love me, i will sincerely luv u. And i will love u till the end of my heart beat. I know its just 2 fast for us to build a serious relationship. But i dun want 2 waste my time anymore. It is risky. And i understnd i'm just a stranger to u. But everything start from nothing. Feelings grow. It is possible for us to luv each other. Like a say. This is a process of learning. And i will never stop to learn. 20 days is a short period of time. It's not enough to get to know u. I need forever to know u. And i dun want to stop after 20 days. I still want to be with u. Be with u for the rest of my life if i can. Even i know it's not possible. But 20 days just not enough. Loving u is easy. But to get u to luv me back is another story. All i need is time. I will do everything that i can to have u. So that i wont regret later. At least i try. At least i know. And i will satisfy with the outcome. Due date is on the 8th. I still have 12 days remain. I'm sure 12 days should be just enough for me to show u that i really care about u. And i really care about us. And i dun 1 to end it just like that.

Kiss - Maroon 5

Aku suka lirik lagu tok. P aku setengah mati tetak bila menggoogle translate kan nya. wuakakkakaka. Tok baru panda song. Nah lirik nya pas google translate. Mati eh mun blagu k lirik tok. Hahahahhaha. Enjoy. damn bena.

Cium


Anda tidak perlu menjadi cantik
Untuk menghidupkan saya pada
Saya hanya perlu bayi badan anda
Dari senja hingga subuh
Anda tidak perlu pengalaman
Untuk menghidupkan saya keluar
Anda hanya meninggalkan ia semua terpulang kepada saya
Saya akan menunjukkan kepada anda apa itu semua tentang

Anda tidak perlu untuk menjadi kaya
Untuk menjadi gadis saya
Anda tidak perlu menjadi sejuk
Untuk memerintah dunia saya
Tidak ada tanda tertentu Saya lebih serasi dengan
Saya hanya mahu masa tambahan anda dan ciuman anda

Anda mendapat untuk tidak bercakap kotor, bayi
Jika anda ingin menarik perhatian saya
Anda tidak boleh genit, mama
Saya tahu bagaimana untuk menanggalkan baju saya (Yeah)
Saya mahu menjadi fantasi anda
Mungkin anda boleh menjadi lombong
Anda hanya meninggalkan ia semua terpulang kepada saya
Kita boleh mempunyai masa yang baik

Anda tidak perlu untuk menjadi kaya
Untuk menjadi gadis saya
Anda tidak perlu menjadi sejuk
Untuk memerintah dunia saya
Tidak ada tanda tertentu Saya lebih serasi dengan
Saya hanya mahu masa tambahan anda dan ciuman anda

Wanita tidak gadis memerintah dunia saya
Saya berkata mereka memerintah dunia saya
Akta umur anda, mama (Tidak kasut saiz anda)
Tidak saiz kasut anda
Mungkin kita boleh lakukan memutar
Anda tidak perlu untuk menonton Dinasti
Untuk mempunyai sikap
Anda hanya meninggalkan ia semua terpulang kepada saya
Cinta saya akan menjadi makanan anda
Yeah

Anda tidak perlu untuk menjadi kaya
Untuk menjadi gadis saya
Anda tidak perlu menjadi sejuk
Untuk memerintah dunia saya
Tidak ada tanda tertentu Saya lebih serasi dengan
Saya hanya mahu masa tambahan anda dan ciuman anda

Terima kasih

Lagu tok liriknya nang ngam lah ngn aku. Aku mok tujukan khas buat si dia. Terima kasih sebab buat aku bahagia walaupun untuk seketika. 

Terima Kasih - Zamani

Tak terdaya lagi
Ku harungi hidup ini
Dengan seribu ngeri
Menyakitkan di hati

Tak termampu lagi
Ku ratapi nasib diri
Apa yang terjadi
Ku pendam hampir mati
Sendiri

Mengapa ini harus ku tempuhi
Sampai bila kan berhenti
Entah siapa ingin jadi saksi
Hanyalah Tuhan yang mengerti

Maafkan aku
Berpaut di kasihmu
Menumpang bahagia seketika
Izinkan aku sedetik di hatimu
Kerna ku jua manusia
Terima kasih

Couple bowling tournament...

Hahahaha. Never been this happy since nov 2011. I am happy. I dun have to pretend to be happy. Guess what. We just won the couple bowling tournament. Created by me and my cousins. This is indeed a good nite. Spend my quality time with the people that i love. Accompanied by tht person as my couple. All i want for christmas is u. Hahahaha. And i am still smiling by my own. Dunno what to say. Just happy. Aaaaa.

Merry xmas!

Merry xmas to all yg menyambut. Yea cuti. Walaupun aku still keja. p xlah rushing macam hari bekerja. sebab bank sik buka. so pat rilek. Tok pun dah kol 2. aku baru turun keja. n jap gik mok balit sebab lupak bawa baju k pengilan pastok. My aunt polah kenduri doa selamat n akikah cucu nya duak org. Dapatlah makan nyaman tok. Boring eh rasa. Malas lalu jak. Malam tadi tdo kol 4 pagi. Leka begayut. Bgayut kalah bgayut ngn gerek. haish. Bahaya itu. Hm. lately banyak gilak bnda jadi yg mengganggu fikiran. P aku cuma mok tekankan kat suma bahawa aku layan ktk org seperti mana ktk org layan aku. Bait ktk org ngn aku, aku 10 kali lebih bait gik. Jaik ktk org ngn aku, Aku akn jadi mimpi ngeri ko seumo hidup. so pilihla betul-betul ne satu yang ktk org maok. but remeber, i am capable of doing it. and i have the power to do what i wnt to do. Menyampahnya tgk muka-muka org menyampah di ctok. Sabar wahai diri sendiri. Boh molah pasal lok. ilek. Ada ari lak belasah jak. k. cau. lelah da merapu. nang sesi luahan persaan ngn sendiri lah ctok.

Now i know

It really make sense rite now y dun 1 me. What u heard about me nang dasyatlah. No wonder u scared. No wonder y dun 1 to go out with me. N y u keep distance. Now i get it y u dun 1 to give me chance. But sadly u never clarify with me. Know me by yourself. Not through others. This is really disappointing n memalukan aku seumo idup. Y cant u c the logic behind all the stories. Y did u believe in 1 side stories. I guess most person that cant hv me like to twist story about me. And sadly all the audience believe the stories even they know i'm not like that. I'm far away from tht. But i do have feeling to. So start from now, i'll try my best to not 'ngorat' u. Not to be so close with u. Kmk cuba jauhkn diri dr ktk. N dun worry. I'll do everythng tht i can so that they will not b gossips about us. Malunya aku walaupun cta d dgr ya xbtl sal aku. Mungkin menjauhkan diri adalah perkara tbaik utk kmk dua. So long ktk. Kmk akn sntiasa igt ktk lam doa kmk. N mintak maaf sbb memgganggu dan menyusahkn ktk. Kmk br tauk knk ktk mcm tok ngn kmk. Sorry glk2. Ai. Malu eh.

Brunei again?

Hi. Just came back from brunei. Seria specifically. Playing around Pandan - Seria - KB. Had our lunch at Escapade. Shopping at Supa Save. Really did shopping. Spend around 60 dollar at Supa Save. A very wonderful lunch at Escapade. Very nice food. And a very nice friend. Looking forward to eat there again. The trip was good. Had fun all the way. Except jam almost an hour at Brunei border. Now at my work place. Dunno what to do. Missing someone so badly. Offday si dia hari tok.Cant wait to c u 2moro. And this is all my report for today. Bubye.

Shopping time!

So close and yet so far

Where do i begin? In front of me. Inside my heart. But why cant u be mine? Always make me smile. By stupid mistake that u make. Your personality really make me fall for u even more. Your cute face. Your manja sound. Ai. cant stop thinking about u. Everytime u calculate wrongly, and doing something yang memalukan. It's really adorable. But for u, i'm just nothing. Ada x ruang di hati ktk untuk kmk walaupun sedikit? Sikit pun xdakah perasaan ktk kat kmk. Kmk da buat macam-macam pun ktk tetap xjatuh hati. Susah eh macam tok. What should i do? Teach me how? Arrr. I said i luv u. But u wont listen. said i really do. But u just dont care. Should i just give up on my feeling. Should i wait. Or should i do nothing. Let me know. Guide me to your heart. Let me try. I am a different person right now. Trying to improve myself so that u can give me chance to be with u. I cannot say that the stories that u heard about me wasn't true. But at least let me show u the real me. So that u can compare by yourself. So that u can judge me by your own eyes. Not through their stories. I just cant take it anymore. This is so painful. Seeing u in front of my eyes. Almost every day. But i cant do nothing except watching. Hm. Gila udah. Dear god. Plz help me. OMG. Just show my blog to u. damn. This will make me malu seumo hidup. Hope u dont have time to read. Or forgot about this. Y am i so stupid. Kmk tauk mun ktk baca tok ktk akan menjauhkan diri dari kmk. Atau ktk buat-buat bodo xtauk kmk cakap apa atau ktk rasa kmk gila n psycho yg menakutkan. huhu. Bodoh eh keja. Dahla. Balit gik. Aher dah tok. Esok mok gi buney gik. Nite world. Bye.

Mimpi sedih

What a dream to start a day. No mood at all. I feel sad. I feel pain. I feel hurt. Why oh why. So many thing to dream. But why did i dream about u? Why must u 'libra'? Last nite before i went to sleep i wasn't thinking about u. I dont even think about anyone. But why did i dream about u. It make me miss u even more. It make me think about u. It make me realize that i do still love u. And i want u. I love u so much. So much that it hurt. God is really killing me. Killing me inside out. Argh!!! I am so fucking stress. With the dream and with everything that's going on with my life. Why must it be so complicated. Why must i think about it. What does it mean? It mean nothing. Even if it mean something, still nothing would happen. It would not change anything. I want u back. I really do. But it wont happen i guess. Shit.

Happy 20122012

Hello world. Happy 20.12.2012 people. A very nice date. Found someone to be my contract couple. Yeah. Finally complete my mission. 20 days start from today. Experiment number ??? I just loss my count. 'Rule of Pandaman' failed on 12.12.12 but succeed on 20.12.2012. I feel good. Dadadadadadada. Let see how it end. Not confident if it can reach 20 days or jut 2 days. Hahaha. With unknown person. This is so crazy. Hey i just met u. And this is crazy. But here's my number. So call me, maybe? Lalalala. Sot udah.

Dinotrek 2

Yea marek dah pergi ke Dino trek di Grand old lady. Ya ialah pameran petrosains kedua di buat di sia. Aku rasa banding ngn dolok n yg nektok mcm xda beza jak. Sama jak sidaknya. P gift shop dolok lebih bagus gikla dari yang sekarang. Marek main mcm-mcm di sia. Macam nembiak pulang upa aku. Siap menari dinosaur gik. Pic terus email. Before dapat pic mesti mok menari tarian dinosaur lok. Walaupun malu p aku entam jak. Budget cute lah rasanya tek depan budak-budak. Pasya aku emn basikal lumba sapa dolok tangkap dinosaur ya. Oleh kerana main marek, aku dapat gift free dari sia. Dapat free sticker dinosaur-dinosaur ngn dapat batch dinosaur. Hehe. Excited pulak. Nang kedak nembiak. Balit dr petrosains mek orang gi tengok the hobbit. Ya lamak cita ya. Lak la comment sal movie. tok pic aku pas menari tarian dinosaur. kuikuikuikui ;p

Pic quality xbagus. huhu. 

To someone

I dunno what to say. If u say it's not true. Thn it's not. If u say it is true. Thn it is. I cant give u the confirmation. Bcoz u're the one that cant accept the truth. Everyone can see it through my eyes. But y cant u. It's either u dun c it or u dun 1 to believe it. So dont ask me wheather it is true or not. Coz u wont believe n u dont 1 to hear what i say. So i think i should just let my feeling unknown by u. And move on with my life. Bcoz i seriously dunno what to do n what to say anymore. I dunno what should i do to make u understand n i dunno what should i do to make u realize that i am truly in love with u. wah! statement!

Belaian Kok

Penat nya ritok. Ngantuk tahap boleh tido berdiri dah. Tido 4 jam jak malam tadi. Lega rasa sbab petang tadi pat main golf. Hehehe. Lamak dah sik bersukan. Pas main glf gi kuar makan nasi lalapan. Den sambung gi makan durian rega 46 sebiji. Mek orang beli sebiji jak. Ya pun setengah mati mok habiskan. Gila tebal isi nya. Pas makan duak ya baru balit. Aku sambung gi kerja. Dalam keadaan busuk xmandi lagi. Bau belacan lalapan plus ngn bau durian. Jadilah aku si busuk yang berbau belaian. Lam perjalanan gi kerja aku merokok k ngilang bau pelik2. P malangnya bau bertambah dasyat. Dari bau belaian jadi bau 'belaian kok'. Belacan + durian + rokok. Nang power bila cdak tiga tok digabung. Leh buat perfume baru. Nama dah glamour ya. Banyak benda sebenarnya aku mok crita. P aku bgaut mok balit mandi dan tido. Xlarat gik dah rasa tok. huhu. Bye u all. Nite. Ala-ala pondan plak bunyi 1. kuikuikui.

Happy sunday

Cis. Xbagus na tulis blog k iphone. Duhal post ct aku masuk draft jak. Lambat duak hari nya knk post. Ow tedah. Currently at pss jln bintang. Pstok ada road trip gi brunei. Yea. Bestnya dpt kuar miri. Xksh g cne. Asal dpt kuar miri dah happy. Hehe.

Ct, my beloved wifey.

Dear city, i know its been a while i have not give u bath. U know i dun like seeing u dirty. But what can i do. The weather is so unpredictable. Sometimes it hot. Sometimes it rain. I know lately that we cant spend much time together. But start from yesterday. U r mine once again. I dun have to share u anymore. Since today is hot. I decided to give u bath. So u can be clean n shiny once again. City, i want to thnk u for always being there for me. Soon u'll be 2 years old. But i still love u. Since i know u, u'r number 1 in my heart. N u'll always b. for better for worst, i know i can count on u. My baby ct. My partner in crime. My almost everything. I luv u n thnk u. Hehe.

Sakit jiwa.

Gila eh kerja macam tok. sakit palak ngan jiwa raga aku kenaknya. yala kata orang. bila kita selalu anok orang lama-kelamaan kita pun jadi macam orang ya juak. leka anok baby sik reti kira rokok xtauk jenis rokok. Most of them lagi dasyat. kata terer. tapi kira rokok depan mata pun masih salah. macam ne ya. tension aku ngira tok. gine mok audit mun suma kiraan sik betul. ne sik aku marah. aku memang patut marah. tambah lagi tengok kerja macam taik macam ya. aku peduli apa. bukan kerja aku mok jaga hati ktk org. dah buat salah nasiblah kenak marah. mun simok kenak marah jangan molah kerja macam sial. fuck bena. kerja senang pun macam kerja susah jadinya. bongok! stress eh gitok. mun simok kerja jangan kerja.berenti bah. kan senang. boh nyusah orang. p mun dah attitude gya, sine-sine kerja pun xguna. sama juak hasil macam taik. bodoh sombong. lega rasa dapat mengadu ngn diri sendiri. shit eh. cau.

Rule of Pandaman

Aku percayakan konsep bernikah dolok baru bercinta. Ya adalah idea yang baik. Tapi what happen if benda ya xmenjadi? Kita xkan dapat untuk alih gear reverse or rewind ke masa sebelum tok. Tapi aku mok try sesuatu. Oleh kerana aku menentang perkahwnan, so aku fikirkan benda tok. Berdasarkan konsep yang sama. Bercouple dolok, baru berkenalan dan bercinta. If ok kita proceed. But if not ok, kta break. Senang kan? Bunyi senang. Tapi ada x orang yang sanggup ambik risk untuk try idea gila tok? Hahaha. Aku namakan idea tok sebagai "rule of pandaman". Declare couple lok, then baru berkenalan dan bercinta. Based on rule ya, aku yakin aku dapat terima orang ya seadanya. Xda terus langit ketujuh b4 bercouple n basement after couple. Tapi kita akan menempuh percintaan dari kosong dan menuju ketingkat-tingkat seterusnya step by step. Xda skip tingkat and turun tingkat menjunam terus ke basement. So sapa setuju ngn rule pandaman angkat tangan. Hahahah. Nang gila keja tok. Esok adalah date yang kacak.  12.12.12. Tok adalah hari last untuk dapat date kacak macam tok. Sebab xkan ada 13.13.13 n seterusnya. Harap aku dapat apply rule of pandaman esok kat sesapa yg gila n sudi mok timak aku tanpa feeling. Yeah. Operasi 1 hari mencari cinta start from now. Sapa interested? Here's my number. Call me, maybe? Wuakakkaka.

Bz. Bz. Bz. And bz...

Haish. Bilalah kesibukkan tok akan berakhir. Monday yang sangat sibuk.Baru balik dari bintulu pas attend wedding kawan and pada masa yang sama gi bercuti tok release stress. Fall in love with bintulu and the ayam panggang tanjung batu. Karok with frens and massage with bestfren. Jalan-jalan cari makan here and there. Attend wedding yang sgt bermakna and sangat best. Jawa style. Sakai during wedding. Hahaha. Currently, nope, almost everyday emotionally unstable. In fact most of the time i want to get mad. Well, what can I say. I'm just trying to be me. And it make me happy when i stop pretending to be happy and impress others. Just had my hair cut. I like it. Eventhough it's very short but i just dun care anymore. I want to change my hairstyle so i did it. And i'm happy bout it. Yeah what do u care. It's my hair. Not yours. I am no longer cute. So what? I want u to take me as i am. Not bcoz of my look. Kikikikiki. I am definitely single. I am so single and i'm loving it. No longer menderita. I feel so relieved. Lonely but relieved. It's a new day and new hair and hopefully a new me. Like a car. New car with latest design n improve version of engine and interior. New me with new hair and improve version of my attitude and personality. Apa dimerepek aku tok. panjang dah. Oklah. gtg.bye.

Cinta itu indah

Fuh! Lately i'm very bz. just have time to update my blog. What a day. Why must today? To start a story, today i'm wearing this shirt that was given to me by 'that person'. The 1 that i once love, nope, the 1 that i still love to be exact. Yes it is true. I do still love u. After i got back from KB, i went to my office to drop my mom. When i arrived, i think i saw sum1. I dunno whether it is my thought? my eyes? or that person was really 'that person'. I was too scared to look. I dunno. But if, 'IF' that person was 'that person'? What does it mean? should i call it coincidence? Or should i say it is fate? Atau tuhan sengaja menduga perasaan ku terhadap mu. Well guess what? Terukir di bintang, TAK mungkin hilang, cintaku padamu. If that person wasn't u, maybe i miss u 2 much that i started 2 c u even it is not u. Angau. Ai. Apalah nasib. Aku xmaok ada perasaan mcm sekarang. Sebab yang ku tahu cinta itu indah. Cinta itu sentiasa indah. Sebab aku dapat jadi diri sendiri masa bercinta. But i started 2 forgot about it. About the feeling to loved n to be loved. The truth is i forgot HOW to love. I cant even remember what is love. This is shit. i'm turning into sum1 i dun wanna be. Sum1 that what my family 1 me 2 b. Not i 1. I am NOT happy. I must be me n i 1 to b happy for 1 more time. I want to have a feeling. To be in love with that sum1. To love with all my heart. To love sincerely and faithfully. And above all is to love like there is no tomorrow. Y? Bcoz love is a magical thing and a process for me to learn and to improve myself. Yang ku tahu cinta itu indah. Yes it is really a beautiful feeling and a very nice thing 2 have in my heart n my life. I must forget all the divorced incidence bcoz life is short and i must keep on moving. Even the impact is really painful. But i must know that everything is already written by god and i should accept n deal with it. I should learn from it. Solve the problem. Deal with it. Not run from it. Whatever happen, he is still my big bro. Every1 make mistake. And i dun 1 to think or talk about it bcoz to me, past is past. So i guess that's all. So long sucker. Sorry bout my grammar. My english suck. bye!

me me me n me

I think I just fall for someone. But I'm not sure about my feeling. I think about u. But I dun miss u. I want u. But I dun need u. It seems like u dun even like me. Yes, u hate me. Bcoz I treat u like that. I'm not that kind of person. Its just that when I like sum1 I tend 2 treat them like shit. Ai. Stupid me. Susahnya memendam perasaan. Huhu. Biarlah. Esok lusa lupalah ya. Hm. Meow~

1 2 3 a b c

Bz nya this few days sampe xda masa mok update blog. hari-hari keja makan n pengilan jak. mun dah sehari pengilan 3 kali. xgila apa ya. makan suma sedap. leh mati mun mcm tok. sib bait hari tok hari last. huh. lega asa perut. lelah nya badan. xlarat gik mok buat apa. mok gi beli selipar jak tok. sempat juak selipar ilang sebelah. ya bena misteri hilang selipar ya. sebelah ajak hilang. sampe di cari lam parit n dibah kusi pun xda. pelik bena eh. huhu. cne mok cari org k gerek tok. xpernah seumo hidup aku rasa sunyi sehinggalah malam tok. i need sum1 that can understand me so that i can have a serious relationship. hatiku hancur mengenang dikau. blablabla. merepek dah jadinya. gne tok. blalah mok dapat kerja luar miri tok. i need 2 go. i must go. this is so not fair. ne leh ko cerai bini n balit ctok n dapat umah aku. buat mcm ya leh dpt suma ko mokkah? gila apa. org tua ya pun satu. cakap pasal team. as a family. tapi yg penting pendapat nya sorang jak. buat sumthng x discuss ngn org. memangla aku stress mun dah suma hutang atas palak aku. untuk apa? untuk kesenangan org lain. aku sendiri xdpt apa2. susah juak dengan org bodoh sombong tok.susah na jadi tua. da xda fun. hilang fun dah aku. shoot bena juak. F my life.

A very sad day

Sik sampe 20 hari gik nek udak meninggal, ari tok nek usu nong lagi yang pergi kembali ke rahmatullah. hm. Nampaknya tok bukan tahun yang bagus. al-fatihah dan yasin diwakafkan kepada beliau. semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang beriman. bersyukur kerana marek sempat melawat nya di hospital. pupus dah orang tua keluarga mek orang tok. huhu.tok ajakla laporan dari aku.sekian. hargailah yg masih di depan mata sementara waktu masih ada.

All i want for Christmas is u...

I dun have a heart to luv u. in fact i dun have a heart for anyone except si Libra ya. damn myself. y on earth i still in luv with that person. y oh y. yes its easy to say than done. but wht can i do. move on? i am moving on. just without feeling. is it a crime if i dun feel anything? no rite? so i am doing fine. loving sum1 is not my job anymore. i'm so done with that. but i will open my heart to anyone that can tawan my hati. n i hope my future 1 will b the 1. i dun 1 the perfect 1. i just 1 the rite 1. apa d merepek aku tok? hehe. ntahla. gnelah mok increase market aku tok mun asyik duduk d stesen tok. ai. susah susah. yea. men golf ritok. xsabar tunggu. terbanglah masalah ku, seperti terbang nya bola golf. jauh dari pandangan. walaupun masalah ya xakan hilang. sekurang2ny di jauhkan dari pemikiran yang memang da sempit tok. pahal blog aku asyik cakap sal hati dan perasaan tok? xpat buat benda cali gikka. mentang2lah aku da hilang charming. blog pun dah xberseri-seri lagi. apala kaba si libra. lamak xnmpknya. da kawen dah kali. huhu. mudahan sentiasa bahagia lam hidupnya. ai. sudah cukup sudah. jgnla dikenang lagi benda yang tlh pergi.huhuhuu.wuuuuuu. gila dah aku.

My vacation

Selepas mereread balit post aku yang lamak-lamak ya, aku terjumpa cgek post yang menarik perhatian. selain dari post merepek n merepak n merapu ya, post tok aku mok updatekan baru. title post ya ialah the places i must see b4 2012. so it's 2012 already. and it's november. and i am a total failure. y? bcoz i dun manage to complete my vision n mission. instead of that 9 island, i only manage to visit 1 island. Langkawi. shit man. i need 2 increase my timeframe coz i must go to all that 9 places. so 1 down and 8 to go. this year aku da pokai coz dah habis duit k duak vacation di tempat xsepatutnya. UK n Japan is really killing my pocket money. currency nya dasyat. so from now on aku mesti jadi wiseman. pegi tempat murah n currency kecik jak. xpun cuti malaysia.  so next year pun preplan vacation yg dah book ticket ialah filipin ngn langkawi lagi? bpa kali mok gi langkawi. aiyo. perlu gi pulau redang secepat mungkin. so standby. kikikikiki. bye.

Activities

Ai. Sakitnya badan pas main badminton malam tadik. Pada masa yang sama berasa lega sebab dapat start balit activity pas balit dari bercuti ya. p perut makin buncit.xda tanda-tanda mengempis pun. huhu. kali makan sik control. ya jadi camya. kinek tok aku bergiat active dalam golf, cycling ngn badminton. badminton just main seminggu sekali. golf ngn basikal aku buat lat hari. yea. ke arah hidup sihat n ke arah membusy diri supaya otak xfokus ngan benda lain kecuali sukan. i am in luv. i'm in luv with sum1 name SPORT! hahaha. pagi tadi sempat karok. walaupun suara xmerdu. p tetap juak menyumbang lagu. tangkap feel bah. hehe. golf dah. badminton udah. basikal jak belum sbb belum pam tayar. huhu. perlu beli pam basikal baru tok. pa gik mok cakap ngn diri sendiri tok ow? nthla labu. dahla. lak da fikir aku tulis gik. bubye myself n i.

It's killing me

Yes it is hard to be a blacksheep in the family. but what can I do. I'm just a little guy trying to do my best. I'm still learning n trying my best to figure my life. I don chose to be like this. it is written by god. this is god choice. I dont care about others. but y cant u just take me as i am. i am not here to please u. in fact i'm not here to please any of u. since last year, i cant feel luv. i dun feel miserable. i dun feel angry. i dun feel sad. i dun feel happy. i feel nothing. i feel hurt. y cant u let me be me. let me happy. let me spend my life the way that i want it to be. this is not about u. this is not about us. this is about me. how can i be happy. when everything i do is to make all of u happy. since 1 year ago i loss my feeling. i loss everything. this is so that everyone around me can feel happy. but how about me. i cant love anyone. how's that. i need luv. i 1 to be love. i 1 2 luv. but wht the hell is happening. i'm starting 2 lose myself. this it not me. absolutely not me. i'm tired to please other. i'm tired of pretending. and above all i'm tired of being sum1 else. i 1 2 b me. why is it so damn hard 2 be yourself. f*ck my life, my family n my everything. there is no day that i dun feel 2 kill myself. maybe i should just hang myself or jump from parkson. fuck me. i am really fucking tired. curse curse curse!!! F word all the way. waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is crazy. i need 2 fix it ASAP. fix myself. fix my life. fix everything. shit betullah. shit everything.

1 year

Haha. Exactly 1 year ago aku buat post teraher d ctok. Now i'm back. Saje suka2. Mok juak isi blog ritok. Update after a year ditinggalkan. Apa mok ckp ow? Congrates obama sbb re elected utk secnd term. Jam masih awal. P aku da ngntuk gila. Pagi td first time tengok cta boboiboy. Ok juakla katun ya. Patutpun biak suka. Tadi baru pas tengok oggy. Terbahak2 aku tetak sorang diri. Katun ya nang bagusla k release stress. Aritok sempat gi brunei mek duak mama. Nang gi sia ctok jak kja aku tok. Oklah. Lak cta agik.mun ada masa terluang. Mok gi o'ok lok.cau.